Nothing - McDanno romance
by GygyFr
Summary: Steve is a trouble magnet, everybody knows that. But if something REALLY bad happens to him, what would be the consequences? At least one thing is known for sure; NOTHING would have lead to that precise consequence. But at the same time, NOTHING would have been able to stop this from happening. LAST CHAPTER UPDATED
1. The wrong place at the wrong time

Good evening everyone! It's past midnight here, but here's what I have to tell you. I always wondered what would go on IF Steve was once again in danger, for him, his team and mostly Danny. Because we all know that 5-0 is Ohana and that McDanno has a very special love-hate relationship, right? But what if...

I can't tell you more for now, you will have to read it through several chapters to find out what I meant :p All I can say is that both Steve and Danno will face darkness for the worse. This story is all about!

As you know, I do not own any characters or scenes appearing on the TV show called Hawaii 5-0, but there are a lot of original scenes and dialogues.

I will do my best to please you and keep you on cliffhangers (hardly ones for sure)!

* * *

 **CHAPTER 1**

"Hey! Stop right where you are and show me your hands!" Steve shouted with a finger on the trigger of his heavy weapon.

But one of the two men in front of him wasn't apparently willing to cooperate; he wasn't scared of him or Danny. He started running, as if his life depended on it, out of reach from the 5-0 Task Force's members.

"Here we go again; another running-out moron", Danny mumbled, visibly desperate and tired of this situation. "I am not gonna run after him, not a chance."

"Shut up, would you", Steve replied coldly as he dropped his rifle.

Detective Williams said nothing, knowing that in a middle of the action, his neanderthal partner didn't mean it this way. He just exhaled deeply instead when he saw Steve running after their suspect with his spare gun in hand. He rolled his eyes, figuring that he would now have to take care of the other suspect on his own.

"Guys, Steve is after a running suspect. Heading to Makiki Street", Williams explained on his radio.

"Roger that. I will meet him with the car", Lou said just seconds after him.

"I join you, Danny. Tani will chase him too", Reigns replied after Captain Grover, just when Danny finally handcuffed the suspect.

For the first time after a rather long period, Steve felt good enough to run a marathon. Chasing a suspect was different but it was a good exercise. One slight problem: with all these innocent people around his running suspect and him, he couldn't stop and fire through the crowd. After half a mile, then an entire one, he still couldn't feel the side effect of his medication for his radiation poisoning. He didn't care about the sweat profusely streaming down his face, he wasn't feeling his breathing becoming erratic or his chest tightening with each step. Inwardly, he felt very good. He smiled, pride lighting up his face.

His suspect turned around a corner and for the first time after five minutes, he was out of sight. But Steve knew this area way better than this dude; it was a dead-end alley after another half mile. So, he continued his path. What he didn't expect though was to see who he was chasing facing him with his gun in the air, just when he turned around the corner as well. McGarrett's eyes widened, surprised. He barely had time to react: bullets rang out all around him. Trying to find shelter, he noticed his chest finally tightening as he was sort of settled down behind a parked car. He fired three times toward the suspect before hiding again. He heard several shots, blasting the window next to him. Adrenaline rushed through him and emerged in his system; he took a deep breath, straightening to shoot through the now broken window. He frowned as he laid down again, noticing that chest ached a little bit, breathing becoming harder and his vision blurring.

"Not a good time for that", he said out loud to himself.

These were the side effects or his medications. He grabbed his radio and turned it on.

"This is McGarrett! Shots fired over Makiki St and Mikiki Pl. I repeat: shots fired!"

That was all he could say as more bullets passed in front of his eyes. Instinctively, he looked down at his gun, wondering how many bullets remained on the barrel. He unlocked the security, looking inside the charger: three bullets left. He had to take this guy down with three more shots, as he no backup plan or more chargers. He exhaled as deeply as he could despite feeling the tightness of his chest and concentrated on visualizing his enemy without looking at him, like a sixth sense. It was something he had learned overseas as a NavySEAL. Pretty useful, accurate most of the time and rather impressive. He grew his grip on the gun and straightened once more, firing his last three shots through the window. Fortunately, one of his bullets hit the guy straight in the head; he dropped on the ground like a dead leaf. Steve swallowed, coming closer as he moved, pushing the gun out of reach from the now dead suspect. He had to check; removing his hand from his chest, he knelt to place his fingers of the carotid and look for a pulse. But before he could do so, he noticed that his hand was tinged with red. He frowned even more, puzzled. And then, it hit him hard: he dropped his head and looked down at his chest: his bulletproof vest had a big hole into it, right in the middle of his chest.

 _This is not good_ , Steve thought as he placed his left hand on his chest once again.

He tried to figure out when he took that bullet and he stopped on the only one explanation he could find: after turning around the corner, surprised, just before he felt this tightness in his chest the first place. That was when he took the bullet for sure. Out of breath, weakened, he couldn't even reach his radio to inform his other partner about the situation. He was out of strength, the one he had when he started running after the suspect. He decided to lay down, not to collapse, his left hand still on his chest, waiting for Tani and Lou to come. Or anyone. the sun was licking his face, the heat striking him as he tried to stay in control of his breathing, laboriously. Each amount of air he blew into his lungs felt like he was swallowing fire itself. With time, he couldn't take a deep breath; he coughed, adding more pain. He heard himself scream and curse, wondering how much time his two friends needed to arrive on scene. The rays of the sun becoming too annoying, he closed his eyes slowly, trying to remain focused on staying alive and conscious for a little more time. Afar, he could hear the sirens of the Honolulu Police Department. Closer, he could hear footsteps, rapid ones, coming towards him.

"Steve? Steve!"

 _Tani!_

A heavy weapon came to the ground with a thud noise, these coming steps arriving more rapidly. A shadow came to black the light of the sun before he could feel a hand on his. A warm hand on his cold and wet one.

"Steve, can you hear me? Open your eyes!"

Her voice seemed shaken, out of reach. Tani was panicking, he could feel it. But he knew he had to open his eyes. Right now. He had too many injuries before to know this. Slowly, not taking care of this burning feeling on his eyelids, he opened his eyes, meeting Tani's concerned look. Her face was wet of sweat after having run for miles. He stared at her, looking haw shaky her hands were when she grabbed her radio.

"This is Tani Rey, officer down! I repeat officer down!" she screamed with a trembling voice. " I need an ambulance on Makili Pl ASAP!"

She didn't wait for an answer, she just focussed on her boss, who was fighting the urge to close his eyes.

"Steve, you have to stay awake, do you hear me?"

He didn't reply, or nod. He just knew she was right. Closing his eyes meant death in such a situation. He'd been shot too many times on the field over the years, whether in Afghanistan or in some other places. He felt heavy, the world around him slowly sinking into a fog becoming thicker as seconds, minutes passed. Each time he tried to take a breath, he could hear his lungs wheezing as if something had pierced through it. He coughed once again, pain radiating throughout his entire body now. At least what he still could feel. As he sputtered, more blood came out of his mouth and open wound, turning the grey asphalt into a dark red color. A pool of blood was growing below McGarrett's almost inert body under the helpless eyes of Tani.

"Tell... Tell Danno", Steve tried to say as an iron taste came to his mouth.

"No, no. Don't you dare", Tani interrupted. "Don't you dare give up on me. On us. I completely forbid it."

These last words felt like a slap on his face. It wasn't giving up, he just didn't want his last word for his best friend and brother in the heart to be the one he had thrown to him before starting to race.

"Tell him...", he insisted. "Tell... him... Sorry."

Tani swallowed hard, repressing her urge to scream and cry. She weakly nodded, taking his right hand on hers, smiling.

"I will."

Steve knew it was a fake smile. Deep down, he was so scared. So scared to die. As a NavySEAL, you are trained to come over your fears in order to do your job. He didn't care about dying for many years, even when he was in a relationship with Catherine. Now was different: since he had known Danny, each time he faced death had been scary. When he went to North Korea to rescue a dead Jenna's husband and was tortured by Wo Fat for information he didn't have at the time. When a division of Al Qaïda captured and tortured him, ready to kill him in front of the camera. When he went to North Korea again to recover his partner's body out of the jungle. When Wo Fat and he went to a deadly fight. When he took three bullets and Danny had to save him by landing the plane on the beach and giving him half of his liver. When he went to Nigeria to rescue his CO, mentor and paternal figure. When he was in that awful red suit, deprived of all his senses. All the time for now nine years, he'd been scared of death, for him or his friend. He'd never felt such a thing with Freddie, even less with Catherine and Joe. He was scared because he didn't want to be separated from the only person able to know him better than he did, because he didn't want to forget that sarcasm he had, or his arguments with him. He didn't want to forget him, not a single time.

"Tell... Him... I love him."

Tani's heart sank as she could observe Steve's eyes closing slowly and dangerously; as she couldn't do anything else. She closed hers, feeling the tears reaching her eyelids and screaming down her cheeks. His hand went limp on hers, the wheezing stopped. Her hand on his chest became still. Not even a pump. Nothing.

* * *

 **A/N: SO what do you think so far?**

 **Please, take into account that I am NOT an English-language native and that I have started speaking English... Three years ago (I swear it's true). Pardon me for any mistake I've done here.**

 **Leave me a review for anything you wish or want to see coming (or a part of a dialogue, a sentence, a word...) or just to share your feeling about this chapter. Simply ^^**

 **See you for the next chapter!**


	2. How to save a life

Hello fellas! How's it going today? Not even twenty-four hours after the first chapter, am I out of my damn mind? Probably, but I have inspiration. I did a lot of work today (phew!) to give you this chapter (and think about the coming ones).

Hope you will enjoy ^^

* * *

 **CHAPTER 2**

 ** _His hand went limp over hers, the wheezing stopped. Her hand on his chest became still. Not even a pump. Nothing._**

"Damnit!" Officer Rey cursed, hitting the ground hard with her left fist.

She dried her tears fast enough to have time taking a deep breath at the same time. Steve needed her right now, that was all that mattered. She passed instinctively her fingers over his carotid, trying to find a pulse. Nothing. Nothing at all.

"No, no, no!" she whispered slowly.

As a trained police officer, she was certified for first aid and she knew what she had to do the time for the ambulance to come to their location. So, she tilted his boss' head, using her own hands to open his mouth and clear his airways. She knew that he had blood in his trachea because he had coughed blood earlier, which was already a bad thing. But she didn't think twice; she inhaled deeply and placed her lips on his, blowing air into his lungs to mechanically breathe for him. She gave him two rescue breaths before placing both hands on his chest, one above the other, and started pushing. Hard. Continuously. Just thinking about saving Steve's life. She could feel his sternum giving way under her resuscitation, she heard ribs cracking one after another. After thirty pushes, she forced air into his lungs once again, disgusted by the iron taste she had now inside her mouth. She had McGarrett's blood on her tongue. She wanted to vomit but repressed her nausea deep down and focused on the man lying lifelessly in front of her. She continued her compressions until she could hear screeching tires next to her.

"Tani! What happened!"

Lou's voice didn't stop her from working on Steve to save his life.

"Bullet went through his chest", she said between two pushes, panting. "His heart stopped a couple minutes ago."

"He wasn't wearing his vest?" Lou asked, surprised about this information.

"He has one, the bullet tore it apart and went through."

Lou sighed; he knew that only one type of bullet could do this to a bulletproof vest: a bullet coming out of a polygonal grooves barrel. He knelt down next to Tani, unstoppable in her task, continuing his questions and comforting words.

"Do not stop what you're doing, help is on its way, alright? Can you hear the sirens?"

As she was only focused on what she was currently doing, she never had heard the sirens from the coming ambulance until now. A slight relief traveled her mind as she kept pushing Steve's chest. Sweat was profusely streaming down her entire face, her breathing was cut by each chest compressions she gave, but she didn't stop. Not a chance. She wasn' t giving up on him. Or else, Danny would kill her. Captain Grover could only stare at the duo, frozen by the scene in front of his eyes. His own heart was racing inside his chest, beating harder and harder with passing time, with Steve unmoving form twirling under the strength of Tani. He turned around, noticing that the ambulance had finally reached the site.

"Over here!" he screamed as a first paramedic started running over them.

"Tell me", the latter, a man called O'Hara, asked.

"This is Commander Steve McGarrett, head of 5-0. He got shot in the chest despite wearing a vest. He stopped breathing and his heart stopped beating minutes ago", Lou explained, Tani still doing compressions.

"Morgen, hurry up!" O'Hara shouted to his partner, who came close with two bags full of medical equipment.

"Ma'am, you have to stop CPR. Please."

Officer Rey took quite some time to register what had been asked but soon, she stopped, panting. She could now only watch the paramedics to help her boss, just like Lou. The one in charge grabbed his stethoscope while his colleague unscratched Steve's vest and used scissors to cut open his shirt. Tani couldn't help but to gasp at the sight on the gunshot wound and placed both hands over his mouth. There was a hole in the middle on his chest, where his sternum should be. Where his heart should be too. She turned her gaze toward Lou, who had the same shocking look. Where the bullet went, he just shook his head; this type of bullet was made for not stopping their path, even with a bone blocking the way, it just penetrated and went through it in a blink of an eye. And with a normal anatomy, the heart should be right below, worrying the two 5-0 members even more.

"He's still not breathing but I have a weak pulse."

Tani didn't even sigh in relief, knowing that she shouldn't be satisfied with the situation. She just stared at the inert body, the two paramedics working on him. One was already inserting a needle in his left arm while the other was preparing everything he needed for an endotracheal intubation. For well-trained people, it could take twenty seconds at the most. But Morgen figured out it would be difficult just by tilting his head more, opening his mouth and inserting the laryngoscope.

"Damnit, there's blood in his airways", he explained, trying to find an angle to slide the ET tube. "Can't even see the cords."

Still thinking an action plan, turning around to his colleague.

"O'Hara, is there any suction device on the rig?"

"Yes, the second compartment on your left. Why?"

"I can't see anything", he simply replied. "You, what's your name?"

"Uh... Tani. I'm Tani", she said, half lost.

"Tani, I will need your help. I want you to take this Ambu-bag. Place the mask over the Commander's nose and mouth, and push on the bag every two seconds. Can you do that?"

Without a word, she managed to nod, swallowing hard. The paramedics gave her what she needed and with her trembling hands, she did what was asked: she put the mask over his face and used the bag to force air into Steve's lungs. Doing so, she still could feel this iron taste inside her mouth, urging nausea to come again. Thirty seconds and fifteen respirations later, Morgen came back with what he needed and prepared everything to act quickly.

"Alright, Tani. I will need your help one more time, okay?"

Waiting for an answer from her, the paramedics patiently waited, aware that she had also a part of the 5-0 Task Force, meaning that she was logically shocked by what she was seeing. After a couple more seconds, she nodded, listening carefully.

"When I say 'now', you remove the bag from the mask, you take this suctioning device and I want you to place it where I will put the laryngoscope, can you do that?"

"It won't hurt him? I meant, uh..."

"No, it won't. This is just here to aspirate the blood in his airway so I can secure his breathing, that's all."

"Okay, okay. I am ready."

The paramedic nodded, turning on the device for his homemade paramedic and grabbed the laryngoscope. Noticing how shaky her hands were, he figured that this was the first time she could see her boos badly injured. But there was no time to think about it.

"Alright, now."

Within a second, Tani removed the mask from McGarrett's face and divided the two parts of the bag as asked, taking the suction and waiting for Morgen to insert the laryngoscope once again while his colleague was placing three electrodes on his bare chest for the cardiac monitor.

"Tani, suction."

She shook her hand in order to come back to reality and slid the suction device slowly into his airways. She frowned, not knowing what she was currently doing. What if it wasn't good enough? What if she wasn't doing it right?

"A little more on your left", Morgen instructed.

She moved more on her left, hearing the aspiration. The transparent tube turned into a red one, filled with Steve's blood.

"Don't move, Tani."

She froze, not asking why she had to remain paralyzed. But she understood when she saw the paramedic taking the ET tube in hand and very slowly pushing it into Steve's airways.

"Stop suction."

Officer Rey got the device out and stopped the machine as Morgen removed the laryngoscope and the stylet, placing the bag-valve ventilator on the proximal end of the tube. As he pushed oxygen on the 5-0 leader's lungs, O'Hara used once again his stethoscope to figure out whether the ET tube was in place or not. He placed the bell near his stomach, then both lungs. He nodded, though frowning.

"You're in but breath sounds are diminished on the right side."

"Pneumothorax?"

"If the bullet hit the sternum, it could have deviated to the right."

"Okay, I use a decompression kit?"

"No time, his head is already too weak. He needs the hospital ASAP."

"Queen's?"

"The closest yes. How long to go there?"

"Ten."

"Make it less and I buy you dinner."

"Sounds fine to me."

They moved in synchronization in order to place Steve on a backboard and transport him into the back of the ambulance. Lou ordered Tani to ride with the paramedics as he would follow them with his car, a police car leading the way.

* * *

 _In less than twenty hours, Steve had lost two of the most important people in his life: his best friend and his father. He knew how hard it would be to recover Freddie's, as they were in North fucking Korea. But what was the hardest thing he's ever had to do was to see his dad lying down an autopsy curtain for a recognition. When he saw his face, he knew. He refrained an urge to throw up when he stared at the hole over the left side of his skull, swearing to avenge his father when he would find the son of the bitch who did this. He knew who he was, he knew how he worked. He worked on tracking them down for five years to know that_ _Anton was the brain of the brothers and Viktor was the arms. There was no chance the latter could come with such a plan to free his beloved brother. Someone should have been with him for sure. He decided to go to his house, despite knowing that it should be a crime scene, but he had nowhere else to go. So, he drove the rental car for the Navy, until stopping in front of his dad's house. His childhood's house. When he saw the yellow-black tape around the patio but there was no sign of a police officer, he decided to enter the place. Gathering evidence of someone with him, he went to the garage, a place he could take refuge every single time he had a hard time when he was younger. He even helped his father repairing his car, failing until now. That was when he saw the box. Champ. He remembered his father calling him Champ on the phone, something he never did before. It was surely a clue to lead him to the box. He opened it, finding things he shouldn't see in a toolbox. Pictures, a key. To what? No time; as he was sensitive to sound, he could hear someone approaching the garage. Instinctively, he reached for his military gun, turning around to face a blond and angry man, his gun also in the air._

 _"You, hands up, don't move!"_

 _"Hey, who are you?!" Steve asked at the same time while the nervous guy approached him._

 _"Who are you!" he asked as well. "I am Detective Danny Williams!"_

 _"Lieutenant-Commander Steve McGarrett", he named himself, interrupting the police officer. "This is my father's house!"_

 _"Let's shove your weapon down!" Danny ordered to the NavySEAL. "Right now!"_

 _"No, you put yours down! Show me your ID!"_

 _"You show me your ID, right now!" Danny screamed at the same time._

 _"I'm not putting my gun down", Steve finally said as calmly as possible, his finger on the trigger._

 _It wasn't that he didn't trust the blond angry man in front of him, it was just that after what he'd just been through, he couldn't trust anyone._

 _"Neither am I."_

 _Steve swallowed, hearing for the first time a soft voice coming from the short dude._

 _"Use your free hand, take out your ID."_

 _"Please, after you."_

A strong head, I like it _, Steve thought inwardly, looking at how he looked like._ A tie? Seriously? In Hawaii? He's not from anywhere around the islands for sure.

 _He knew that the seeming detective wouldn't give up, amused without showing it._

 _"At the same time?" he proposed, wondering if the officer would enter this game._

 _"At the same time?" Danny repeated._

 _"Yeah, at the same time", he finally answered, pissed off._

 _"Well, like I will count to three?" He asked with a grimace on his face._

 _"Sure, okay. Three is good."_

 _Inwardly, Steve was laughing so hard. It was like he was with Freddie again. A new version of Freddie, but funnier, angrier and more stubborn. And it was already hard to beat him, that was interesting. He saw Danny's grimacing once again, releasing his left hand from his gun._

 _"One."_

 _Steve did the same, slowly reaching his purse._

 _"Two."_

 _He took his ID in hand, opening it and showing his ID, just like the detective in front of him._

 _"Three."_

 _They both put their gun down and put their ID on their respective pockets._

 _"Listen, uh. I am really sorry about your father, but you can't be here right now", he explained with a soft tone for the first time since he showed up in the garage. "This is an active crime scene."_

 _"Doesn't seem that active", Steve continued, wondering how much time he could tease his visitor before he could blow._

 _"I can't share any information with you", Danny said, approaching him again._

 _"Hesse wasn't here alone when my father was murdered", he confessed, trying to figure out why he was saying this._

 _That was weird because he didn't want to, but something inside the detective made him wishing to know him more._

 _"Someone was sitting at his desk in the study, there was a space cleared for a thirteen-inch laptop. And my father hated computers."_

 _"I'm gonna ask you again; you have to leave."_

Not fun, he's not even pissed off.

 _He took the toolbox, ready to leave._

 _"You got it."_

 _"And you can leave the box. That is evidence", Danny shouted when Steve walked next to him. "You know that."_

 _"I came with this", Steve tried to convince him._

 _"No, you didn't come with it. It can see the dust from where it was left right here on the counter. What's in the box, what are you hiding inside?"_

 _"For how long you've been in the Honolulu PD?" Steve asked, very much amused by Danny's behavior._

 _"None of your business. Who are you, Barbara Walters?"_

 _"You know, it is my business if you're investigating my father's death."_

I give him thirty seconds before he gives up.

 _"I am, and I'd like to get back to that, so the sooner you leave the sooner I can."_

 _"Anything you say", he complied, ready to leave the garage once again._

 _"Leave. The box. Or get arrested. Alright?"_

Aw, a challenge. Bite me.

 _"You're gonna call for backup?"_

 _"An ambulance."_

Daddy is angry now.

 _That was so funny for Steve; he knew he would win a fight with Williams even without knowing who he was. He wanted to know more. Thinking about what the Governor asked him earlier, he stopped, not knowing what to do. He very much liked the Navy, but after what he'd been through, he knew it couldn't be the same anymore. He was lost, angry too. And more, he wanted to know this Detective Williams. And he wanted to track down Viktor Hesse to kill him. What Jameson offered to him was a way to investigate his father's murder without following orders, no questions asked. He smiled, leaving the bow on the unrepaired Mercury Marquis._

 _"Thank you."_

 _"Don't thank me yet", Steve challenged him while he grabbed his phone._

 _As he had a look over the Governor's phone number, he had memorized it, so he dialed the number and called._

 _"What are you doing?" Danny questioned, curious._

 _Steve asked him to stop taking without even a word._

 _"May I help you?" a voice came to his ear._

 _"Uh, yeah. Governor Jameson, please? Tell her it's Steve McGarrett."_

 _"Right away, Sir."_

 _He didn't wait long until he could hear Danny's pissed-off voice._

 _"Oh, please..."_

 _He put the speaker on, approaching the detective._

 _"Commander, Governor Jameson here. What can I do for you?"_

 _He removed the speaker, looking at Danny, who was pacing around._

 _"Governor. I take the job", he said, sure of himself._

 _"Oh. What changed your mind?"_

 _"Let's just say that I found something that changed my mind", he simply replied._

Or I'd rather say someone changed my mind.

 _This urge to know more about Danny Williams was so huge that he had to take the job. And it was a good opportunity for him to run away from his daily duty. He wasn't tired of this after more than ten years. But after what happened in North Korea, he wasn't ready to go overseas again. He needed time._

 _"Okay. I can make it official in an hour."_

 _"No, no immediately. I transfer to the reserve and I'll run your task force."_

 _"Alright, raise your right hand."_

 _"What, like right now?"_

 _"Right now", the Governor confirmed._

 _He sighed, turning around to not see Danny's unhappy face when he was swearing._

 _"Okay."_

 _He used his left hand to grab his phone, raising his right hand just as asked._

 _"Repeat after me: I, Steven J. McGarrett, do solemnly declare on my honor and conscience that I'll act at all times to the best of my ability and knowledge in a matter of befitting and serving the law."_

 _Steve swallowed, knowing by heart this declaration._

 _"I, Steven J. McGarrett, do solemnly declare, on my honor_ _and conscience, that I'll act at all times to the best of my ability and knowledge, in a matter of befitting and serving the law."_

 _"Thank you, Commander. It's official now: you're head of the newly Hawaii Task Force."_

 _"Thank you, Governor."_

 _He hung up, taking the toolbox once again in his hand, giving a look to Danny at the same time._

 _"Now, it's my crime scene", he finally declared as he started leaving for the third time._

 _"What, just like this?"_

 _"Yes, just like this. You got a problem with that?"_

 _"Yes, I have a problem with that. I am investigating your father's death for two days now. And within five minutes, you think you can what... Ask the Governor for help and take the whole investigation? You can't be impartial!"_

 _"I don't want to be impartial, I want to track down the men who killed my father in cold blood."_

 _"This is insane. I'm done", Danny said, waving his hand above his shoulders and passing next to Steve to go out. "I give you my files, do whatever you want."_

Now, he's pissed off. Funny, strong-head, warm-blooded. I need to know who he is.

 _Without a noise or a word, he followed the detective outside in order to reach his car._

A grey Chevrolet Camaro? Someone lives in luxury despite being a cop!

 _"Here. All I got on the investigation. Now, I leave you alone in your business. Hope to never see you again."_

 _With that, he placed the files on the ground, entered his car and left the place within seconds. Steve smiled, satisfied. I liked this man. He was the complete opposite of who he was, which was why he was teaming with Freddie on the field; with two different ways to do things, missions were done with more efficiency. Steve needed Danny on the team, as his partner. He was sure of this. To remind him on Freddie but also_ _because he was surely a good cop and probably the only person who might be able to possibly stop him from doing things the wrong way or to stand up to him._

* * *

In less than seven minutes, Morgen managed to drive as fast as he could to arrive at Queen's hospital in no time. The doors burst open and Tani jumped out of the rig in order to give way to doctors and nurses.

"What do we have?"

"GSW to the chest. Diminished breath sounds on the right, irregular heart rate. BP at 74 over 48, intubated on the field. He had blood on his airways."

"You managed to intubate?"

"I did with suction. His colleague, Tani over here, resuscitated him before we arrived on scene."

"Let's move to the shock room. Go, go, go!"

Officer Rey could only follow the gurney as they all wheeled it to the closest emergency room, closely chased by Lou. Once arrived, she was about to pass her hand over her face, but the smell of blood stopped her immediately. She looked down at her hands, slightly trembling; they were reddish. Steve's blood. She couldn't help it; she found the closest toilets and entered, pouring water on her hands as she tried to remove any traces of blood. And she cried. She cried because she didn't know if he was going to make it. She cried because all the adrenaline was rushing out of her system and she couldn't handle it anymore.

* * *

 **A/N: alright! For now, Steve is still alive although weakened. This part in italic is part of the story we really had on the show. There is some different point of view, so that you all could see (from my own point of view) what Steve was thinking about the scene when it happened. This first part is from the pilot of the TV show, when Danny and Steve met the first time in the garage. And YES, I went through the show in English again to give you the good dialogue despite my not-too-good level in English. There are six more parts to find out through the story, each one with Steve's point of view and more.**

 **SO, what do you think so far? Please, leave me a review, so that I can see your thoughts ^^**

 **Oh, and by the way, you should hear McDanno's French voice! They are PERFECT, especially Danno ^^ It fits the character so well lol**

 **There are some French video on youtube (their arguments most of the time)**


	3. How deep is your love

Okay, you can think that this is a lot to take so many chapters for one story in a so short amount of time. But as I said earlier, I have a lot of inspiration, so I think I can do one chapter each day. At least for now.

So here it is ^^

Enjoy your reading!

* * *

 **CHAPTER 3**

 _ **She cried because she didn't know if he was going to make it. She cried because all the adrenaline was rushing out of her system and she couldn't handle it anymore.**_

Her boss, her confidant was dying. He died in her arms and she had to resuscitate him for five minutes. That was scary. How Danny could feel about almost losing such a friend like McGarrett? It sure wasn't the first time. She only knew that they'd met nine years ago and that Danny had given a part of his liver to save his life, according to Steve's own words. But that was all she knew about them. That and the fact that they loved messing with each other like an old married couple. She dried her tears and her hands before getting out of the ladies' room and joining Lou, just when Danny Williams rushed through the sliding doors of the ER, with Junior running behind him

"Where is he?! Where is Steve", he asked Lou.

"In here", he replied, showing the first room.

"I-I have to see him. I have to see him", Danny stuttered like a young boy.

"Danny, you know you can't."

"I don't care, I want to see him!"

Tani and Junior could see and feel that their friend was scared to death. He was pacing around, gesturing a lot while talking. This was not good. Not good at all. They had never seen Danny like this. They had seen arguments between the two colleagues, but apart from Danny in quarantine, the two young recruits had never been confronted with the possibility of the death of one of them. It was quite confusing, especially for Junior. He was a NavySEAL who knew how to suppress his own suffering, mask his emotions to concentrate on his mission but deep down, he remained this extremely sensitive young man. Steve had done everything to make him feel at home in his own house. He had taken him off the street, convinced him to enter the Police Academy in order to learn the basics of investigation and integrate the 5-0 family, he had even become a kind of big brother, a new father figure for him. So, knowing that he was seriously injured without any possibility of helping him was unprecedented and embarrassing. He was kind of lost, not knowing what was going to happen.

For Tani, it was even harder. She was the one who had come to McGarrett's rescue, who had collected his last words, who had performed CPR to keep him alive until help arrived. It was her who had his blood on her hands and who still had those red marks on her shirt. She didn't show it, but she was panicked at the thought of losing her boss. He had given her a second chance to finish her training at the Academy before joining 5-0, he had given her her license plate and her gun when no one believed in her anymore. Her lost trust, she had regained it thanks to him. She had been able to save her little brother thanks to the influence of the team she was now part of. It was no ordinary team, it had become her new ohana.

"I have to get out of here", Danny burst. "I need some fresh air."

He couldn't stand the wait anyone. As he passed the sliding doors, Tani, Junior and Lou sighed deeply.

"I can't even imagine what state he's in."

"It must be completely broken."

"Danny is an emotional sponge. He says what he thinks and he shows it too", Lou explained as calmly as he could. "But you know when I saw these two ready to break down completely?"

Waiting for a response from the two young recruits, he observed two shaking heads from them, a sign that they did not know.

"It was when one of them was in danger. You hurt one, and the other one becomes impossible to stop or reason with."

"Yes, I remember when we were in quarantine", Junior stated. "When Danny was injured and we had to... Steve probably didn't want to show it, but I felt that he wasn't in his normal state of mind."

"You've never seen Danny like this before, but believe me; expect the worst. And I speak with full knowledge of the facts."

"Has Steve ever been seriously injured?"

"Oh, I don't count how many times he's been wounded anymore. I stopped before I even joined the team to tell you the truth. But the only time I saw Danny ready to kill for revenge was about two years ago."

"And uh,... What happened?"

"Steve and Danny went on an undercover mission to dismantle a drug trades. Danny was playing the co-pilot while Steve was in charge. During a delivery on board of a Cessna, they were subjected to enemy fire. Steve took three bullets in the body, one of which came to destroy his liver. He bled out in the plane and Danny had to make an emergency landing on the beach at full speed."

"He has... A liver transplant?"

"When we were informed of Steve's condition, we didn't hesitate to volunteer, but Danny stepped in. He shared the same blood type as him so he had a strong chance of compatibility."

"So the liver inside Steve is Danny's?"

"In part yes. The liver being an organ that can regenerate, we took half of his liver, which we put in Steve and both livers returned to normal size with time."

Lou laughed.

"That didn't even stop Steve from jumping off Honolulu's rooftops to hunt down a suspect when he had just been released from the hospital."

"Okay, this is crazy. I don't even think it's true."

"Oh, it is, trust me. I've seen McGarrett do crazy things since I came here in Hawaii, but when someone from his ohana is in danger or needs help, he's here. No matter what. No questions asked. Apparently, it almost cost him his life and his career in the Navy."

"Steve would never jeopardize his career, it's too important for him", Junior stated, still doubtful.

"Okay, here's what I know about what Steve did or didn't since the 5-0 Task Force has been created."

Lou sat down next to the two young people, feeling that their attention was at its height.

"When one of the unofficial 5-0 members asked Steve for help to go find her husband held captive in North Korea, he didn't hesitate to go. It was a trap set by his most serious enemy at the time, who captured and tortured him for information he apparently did not have. Danny and the former members of 5-0 went to rescue him."

"Okay, but he's a SEAL, that's what we do for a living, Lou.

"Oh, it's one of the numerous stories I have in mind, Junior. Trust me."

Officer Reigns kept his mouth shut, wondering what else happened to him.

"This bastard came back several times to haunt us, until one day he captured and tortured Steve again on Hawaiian soil. When he was found, Steve was in bad shape, but he had managed to free himself and kill the scum who had his father killed and ordered his mother's assassination twice. After that, his girlfriend at the time contacted him to have them organize a civilian mission to rescue children kidnapped by the Taliban in the Afghan hills. He did not hesitate to go and take up guns to save these children, but they fell into a trap. Captured again, badly tortured. His military status was discovered and he was to serve as a live example on the Internet and by that, I mean an execution. Without the SEALs' intervention, he would have died. According to Danny, Steve is now no longer allowed to travel to the Middle East, either as a civilian or for a military service, at the risk of ending up in prison for treason."

"Oh, that's a lot to take."

"Do you trust me if I say that it doesn't stop him from going back in Middle-East several times?"

"Not really?"

"Steve also took care of dirty bombs with Danny. Two or three times. I don't remember how many, it's a little confusing. He went back to North Korea to recover his best friend's body, who had given his life to save Steve's just before he created the Task Force here. There was the plane story too. Once, he was trapped under the rubble with Danny and he used an explosive device to get them out of Hell. There were all these stories you know about because you were there. There are numerous stories I can't even find words to explain."

"Okay, so Steve is one hell of a man. That's not a surprise. But I think that half of these stories are fake", Tani stated, not trusting Lou.

That was impossible, even for Steve, to endure such bad things in nine years.

"And yet, they're all true."

Surprised, the three police officers turned to see Danny standing up next to him. They were so focused on these stories that he didn't even hear that Detective Williams was back. He wasn't really up to forget what happened but he wanted to stay positive. He had to.

"Do you understand why I call him an animal now?"

"Danny, I am sorry. It's just… It's new to us. We… Uh…"

"What Junior is currently trying to say is that Steve endured so many things, and he's still cheerful with all of us. You endured so many things too."

"Do you see all these grey hair in my head? That's Steve", he joked. "I had no grey hair before coming in this pineapple hell-hole. He drives me crazy all the time, I never gave me a break."

"But you like him."

"I don't."

Danny sighed, looking down with his eyes closed.

"I love him. I love him so much I would like to be where he is right now, in this hospital bed, fighting for his life. I could give my life to save his."

* * *

At the same time, in the emergency room, doctors and nurses were doing their best to save a human's life. Whoever he was, he had to survive.

"We need a chest x-ray over here", a doctor asked. "And put him on a vent ASAP."

"Increasing heart rate. BP coming down", one of the nurses explained.

"He's on the edge of v-tach. Let's focus on the x-ray to see what's happening in here."

The x-ray was done, revealing on the board his rib cage. The left part of the image was in shade of white, contrasting with its right, pitched black with only Steve's bones in white.

"His right lung is filling with fluids."

"His sternum is also shattered, doctor."

"Doc, I've already seen this type of injury back in Afghanistan", one of the doctors said. "If the bullet came out of a polygonal grooves barrel, it could have had enough velocity to pierce the bone, shatter it and enter further."

"Which would explain his increasing heart rate and the pneumothorax."

"Cardiac tamponade?" the second doctor suggested.

"Bring me the ultrasound ASAP. If the bullet is still inside, it's in his heart."

* * *

 _Almost seven years ago, Steve had captured Wo Fat in Japan and was ready to bring him back to the mainland when he received a call from his best friend Danny. This lit up his day for sure but the bad news he had said otherwise; a woman had been murdered and apparently, there was a link with Wo Fat._

" _I put a call in the TSA; they said in the past year, she's traveled to Afghanistan, Pakistan and Iraq."_

 _"Sounds more like CIA than Cultural Affairs."_

 _"Yeah, I was figuring the same thing."_

 _"Why would Wo Fat be in contact with a CIA agent?"_

 _"I have no idea but the CIA has a field office here. I'm gonna head over to the federal building in a minute and find out."_

 _"Alright, keep me posted."_

 _Steve was about to hang up, not that he didn't really want to, but with a plane waiting for him to enter and leave the airport, he had no choice._

 _"Right, so. Uh… What's up? You get a chance to interrogate Wo Fat yet?"_

 _He smiled, knowing that he was about to hear his partner grunt because he couldn't give him this information._

 _"Sorry, Danny. That's classified."_

 _It was not really, but he didn't want to talk about it on a phone, especially knowing Wo Fat and his ability to escape in any situation._

 _"It's classified? Is that a joke? Are you kidding?"_

 _"No. I'm not kidding."_

I wish I could.

 _"Okay, uh… Well, when are you bringing him back?"_

 _"I can't tell you that either, Danny. I can't tell you these things over an unsecured line, you understand?"_

But I'll tell you everything about it when I come back home.

 _"It's a security issue."_

 _"Okay, you know what I think? I think, that you think... That saying stuff like that is cool. It's not cool, it's actually the opposite of cool."_

 _"Danny…", he tried to say._

 _"You know what? Forget it", Danny interrupted once again._

Uh oh, he's pissed off now.

 _Of course, Danny was pissed; Steve couldn't share any information with his best friend and the latter felt like betrayed. He felt very bad for Danny because he had to keep everything secret for now._

 _"I don't care when you're… Well, no, I… I care. I'm just going to find out myself, okay? I will track your plane."_

 _Steve smiled again, perfectly aware that Danny would do that if necessary; he had learned a few hacking tricks with Catherine and himself, so he could do things that people shouldn't be able to do on their own._

 _"No, you won't", he tried to dissuade his friend. "I'm coming in dark."_

 _A silence settled, not for a long time. Not for as long as he wished._

 _"Dark, uh?"_

 _"Yes, dark. As in "off the radar", dark", he teased his friend._

 _Of course, Danny knew what he meant, but Steve needed his daily dose of angry-Danny._

 _"I… I know what dark means, okay? Is this really necessary though?"_

 _"It's protocol, Danny. I'm sorry but I can't answer your questions right now."_

 _It broke Steve's heart to not tell him the whole story yet. But soon, he would._

 _"I gotta go, alright?"_

 _"Well, I got an easy one: what are you wearing?"_

 _McGarrett pinched his lips, not trying to laugh because of the question asked as he rolled his eyes._

 _"You know what? Don't answer it. I am sure it's top secret, so I'll take a guess."_

 _He waited patiently for an answer from Danno, figuring which words he would use to guess what he was wearing. Because that was also the only thing he would wear while on duty._

 _"Cargo pants!"_

Here we go, Danno! You are right!

 _Inwardly, he burst out laughing but he kept his composure; he wasn't alone in this plane and he had to remain focused on the mission because it wasn't done yet._

 _"Goodbye, Daniel."_

 _And he hung up, entering the plane. Daniel, Steve. They were names they didn't use often. It was their secret code to tease each other. He missed that smile. He already missed this attitude._

* * *

Thirty minutes. Thirty minutes without any news about Steve's condition, driving everyone crazy. Especially Danny. He couldn't help but think that their possible last conversation was some kind of argument. He didn't like fighting with him. He even thought sometimes that Steve did it on purpose to get him out of him, and that he often refrained himself from laughing in his face just to annoy him. Maybe it was just his imagination after all. But what bothered him the most was that he immediately felt that something was wrong.

Call it instinct or whatever, he knew that his brother in the heart had a really serious problem. He had felt almost in his flesh a violent pain, when he was far from him, and especially when he could not know what was happening. His only clue had been to hear his colleague call for an ambulance because an officer was down, and just by the street names, he knew it was Steve. A piece had broken in his heart with that. A door that opened was heard, and the four policemen lifted their heads.

A doctor came out of the room where Steve was and closed the door immediately, meeting their eyes. Despite his jelly legs, Danny stepped forward slightly.

"Doc? How's Steve?" he asked with a broken voice.

"To tell you the truth, not good. The bullet did a lot of damage. It went through his vest before piercing his sternum, which shattered into tiny pieces. Some of them pierced his right lung and created a pneumothorax. It then continued its path to reach his heart. It entered on about an inch and fit partially the whole, which caused a cardiac arrest and a tamponade. We were able to revive him, but the bullet is still in the heart and it keeps him alive for now."

"So, uh... What can you do to help him?"

"We're gonna cut open his chest to reach his heart and put him on bypass the time for us to remove the bullet and repair the damage."

"You will stop his heart? Again?"

"If we do this operation without bypass, there is a much bigger chance he might not make it. The risk of an hemorrhage is very high. We are talking about a vital organ, a very sensitive muscle."

"But he's gonna make it? Right?"

"Unfortunately, I can't guarantee anything. The surgery is risky but unavoidable. This kind of injury is rather rare around here."

"So, there is a chance he might not make it."

"Just... Be prepared about this eventuality. I will come back to you as soon as the surgery is over."

Danny's heart sank; his best friend, his brother might not make it. He could die and he would blame himself forever because his last word was a curse addressed to Steve. He would do everything to trade his place with him.

* * *

 **A/N: okay so, for those who are wondering which episode this dialogue come from, it's from season 2 episode 22.**

 **What do you think so far? Is Steve gonna make it or not? What's happening next? Share your thoughts !**


	4. The words he said

Hello there! Another chapter is waiting for you! This is not a long one (I couldn't write anything today because the house is being renovated for the rest of this week), but I still hope this would be as good as the previous ones.

Enjoy the reading everyone!

* * *

 **CHAPTER 4**

Three hours. Three hours of nightmare and still no news. How was the surgery going? Was he considered dead because his heart had stopped beating or did he stay alive because a machine recreating the blood circulation was doing this job for him? Wasn't removing the bullet going to cause more damage than it had already caused? Could his sternum be repaired? What about his lung? Too many questions were jostling through Danny's brain, and none of them had answers yet. Even though with Steve, he had learned to think positive, he couldn't help but have negative waves flooding the brain.

What if he had followed Steve by handcuffing his suspect in the house, so he couldn't escape or call for his own backup? What if he had convinced him to stay with him and let Tani, Lou and Junior take care of the runaway idiot? What if Steve didn't take that bullet? With all these "what ifs", he could have made the world the way he wanted it to be, but this world was always turning to drama. He was happy until now; Grace was growing up, Charlie was about to celebrate his seventh birthday. Melissa had agreed to move in with him, only listening to her heart rather than Danny's ex-wife. Despite the rather difficult absence of two of his former colleagues in the 5-0 Task Force, they had managed to recruit two new ones, young but just as talented as Kono and her cousin Chin. Despite the physical, mental and love problems Steve could encounter, Danny did everything to be close to his best friend as a support for him. Something he, no doubts, he would receive in return if the roles were reversed. But today, he was angry. So angry that if Steve survived the operation, he didn't know what to do. Or rather he didn't know anymore.

The commander never listened to him; he always followed his warrior instincts without paying attention to his own teammates. By discussing several times with Junior, he had more or less understood why; certainly, a NavySEAL team often consisted of four to five people, often there was a polyvalent person who did a large part of the work, supported by his teammates when necessary. And Steve often had to be on his own for his missions because of this polyvalence.

But most importantly, he was angry with himself. For failing as his backup. For letting him down in a crucial moment. For him, if Steve died this afternoon, it would be entirely his fault. That would be a murder.

"Danny? Are you okay?" A voice came to his ears.

He jolted a bit, turning his head to the right to meet Tani. As he couldn't handle being inside the ER, waiting for the surgery to be over, he was outside, trying to think about anything but Steve. It obviously didn't work. He sighed, not uttering a word. There was no need. The officer soon figured out what was bothering him.

"None of this is your fault, Danny."

"You think so? He bled out two miles away from me, Tani. For nine years, I am his backup. And I monstrously failed."

"You know Steve, don't you? You know that he does things like that a million time already."

"And I was not satisfied with it a million time", Danny explained.

He was furious. His hands were shaking, his blood was boiling inside of him. If there had been a punching bag not far from him, he probably would have used it to soothe his body and mind. And it certainly wouldn't have worked entirely.

"I swear if he survives that, I am gonna kill him with my own hands", he said very seriously.

Tani couldn't help but smile a little bit. Danny would sure do this kind of crazy things.

"I am pretty sure you can't do such things to Steve. You two are like an old married couple. You need each other. You love each other."

"Oh, trust me when I say that I hate him right now. I hate him so much, I wanna sign the divorce papers."

Rey said nothing. He knew he had no chance to convince Danny that he was wrong about the whole situation.

"You know... Back on scene, he uh... Steve asked me something before... You know."

Detective Williams straightened a bit, wondering what was she talking about.

"He asked me to tell you how much he was sorry."

His chest tightened, knowing why Steve had said that tot Tani. It was one of the first rules they had put in place when they met; when one was shot or not waiting for backup, which was one of the rules in place exclusively for Steve, the other had to apologize for indirectly hurting his partner. And since he hadn't waited for backup to start a shooting, McGarrett was completely wrong on that one.

"He also asked me to tell you that he loved you", she stated with a trembling voice, shaken when she had to think about what he told her when he was bleeding out.

Danny sighed, closing his eyes, his fist meeting the cold and harsh wall. Now, he hated him more.

* * *

In the operating room, Steve was hanging in there. His vitals was stable, although his heart stobbed beating hours ago. The cardiopulmonary bypass was doing its job efficiently, making blood circulating inside his own body without using his heart.

"I need more suction. I can't see anything around the pericardium."

The doctor in charge of aspiration set to work, clearing the surgeon's view and intervening at Steve's heart.

"We'll be able to start removing the bullet. I'm going to need this patch soon."

"We're on it, doctor."

A patch was what could fill a hole in an organ, especially the heart muscle. It was working like a piece of fabric used in sewing to mend clothing that had a hole somewhere. By closing this hole and sewing it on the periphery, it was once again possible to have quality clothing.

The only concern was that this patch didn't last a lifetime, and it had to be replaced every twenty to twenty-five years on average. But it was better than death.

"I am going to remove the bullet. Be ready to patch the wound. And prepare me the suture."

The surgeon waited for his colleagues to be ready before asking for a clamp able to catch the foreign object and taking it out of where he currently was.

"You're all ready? Let's do it."

* * *

 _The plane landed on Hawaii, Steve felt already at home just to see the Hawaiian sky above him. He looked through the window, seeking for Danny. What he could see was only cops, heavily-armed ones. And Danny walking towards the plane. He didn't like it, especially Danny's features. He looked tired and concerned. And lost as well._

 _"What's going on? On the plane, you said you're bringing Shelburne back."_

What a macho man, Danny! Some people can be a woman too.

 _"Yes, this is Shelburne."_

 _"But you can call me mom. Someone should."_

 _Steve sighed, wondering how his partner would take the news that his mother was still alive, faked her own death in order to protect her family._

 _"Mom? Whose mom?"_

 _"That'd be mine", he answered, raising his hand._

 _"Doris McGarrett."_

 _She gave him her hand, so they can shake hands politely. But Danny had some trouble to do so. After a couple seconds, he finally raised his own hand to meet hers._

 _"Danny Williams", was all he could say at the time._

 _He couldn't help but stare at his mom, then Steve, again his mom, Steve and finally his mom._

What are you looking for, Danny? If I tell the truth? If this is a joke? I wish…

 _"You know, for a woman who died in a car bomb twenty years ago, you are remarkably well put together."_

 _"Thank you. I'll take that as a compliment."_

 _Steve was tired of this situation. Plus, he wanted to know why the police was here. His mom was safe to come back home now, as Wo Fat was in prison. So why?_

 _"Sorry to interrupt here. Danno, I appreciate the homecoming, but what's for the police presence? You didn't have to go to all this trouble."_

 _"This is not for you."_

Ouch, that hurts my feelings, Danno.

 _"This is uh… This is for Shelburne."_

 _"Why? Me?"_

 _"Wo Fat escaped."_

 _An hour later, after some investigation in the precinct, Steve was having a conversation with the Governor about Kono and Chin on the phone while driving. His mom was next to him on the passenger seat, Danny was behind, visibly pissed to be in the back, just like children, in his own car._

 _"Son of a bitch! He wants a full inquiry into this Delano release", he said, obviously really angry because he was now short two of his members without having a say. He did not like to receive orders let alone apply them. That's why he had spent his habilitations to become a commander._

 _"Steven."_

 _He totally forgot her presence in the car, not used to see and talk to his mother._

 _"I'm sorry", he said, not thinking about what he said._

 _"Oh yeah, watch your mouth, Steven."_

Don't start Danny, or you'll lose.

 _"That goes for you too, smart-ass."_

 _He restrained his urge to laugh out loud and turned his head toward his best friend, a smile on his face. Seeing that he had lost this battle, Danny mimed a zip over his mouth to say that he'd stopped talking for a while before sighing deeply. Satisfied, Steve turned back to focus on his driving skills. Yes, messing with Danny was his favorite hobby. And apparently, that also stood for his mother. He just wanted to see this face when he was messing with him. He missed having carguments. He missed everything in Danno._

* * *

Slowly, the bullet was removed and another doctor came to suction the area the time for one of his colleague to place the patch and for the cardiothoracic surgeon to grab the suture and sew it.

"Pressure is dropping. He's going into shock."

"We are missing something", the surgeon said, frowning.

Where was the problem?

* * *

 **A/N: ALRIGHT, how is it going so far? You're still following?**

 **This dialogue comes from season 3 premiere. It is divided into two parts; when Steve and his mom got out of the plane and when McGarrett and Danny were driving Doris to a safe house on the island.**

 **If you're still not following this part; this is Steve who is (kinda) hallucinating because of his physical shape. He's in the "darkness" and tries to figure out what he's going to do (give up or follow his heart).**

 **Please, leave me a review. I am wondering what you want in this story. More details? Less details? More emotion or not? As I am always taking into account what is asked...**


	5. A shock

Hey there! I am sorry, I haven't updated in two/three days; my house has been busy since Wednesday; renovation and all, I couldn't focus on anything, especially on writing this new chapter.

It is much bigger than the other (compensation haha), and I hope you still like the story because it's not over at all ;P

Take your time to read the chapter!

* * *

 **CHAPTER 5**

"Doctor, he's still crashing. O2 stats dropping at 70%, BP is under 60 over 42."

"I don't understand, we repaired his right lung and his heart. Why he's still in shock? What did we miss?"

"Maybe there is still another part of his sternum inside, causing his vitals to come down?"

No, it was something else, the doctor was sure of that. He thought, trying to see every possibility. But none of them were fitting the symptoms. What was wrong with the Commander?

* * *

 _His ears were ringing, driving him crazy. He closed his eyes, waiting for them to stop, but it never happened. Where was Danny?_

 _"Danny?!" he screamed._

 _He was currently using all his strength to find his best friend and brother in the heart. He kept asking around without any answer for a while. Until he found the dead body of the guy who was attached to the chair. That was a trap and this man was here as a trigger for the bomb. Why? He heard a noise, stronger than his buzzing ears. Someone was coughing. Danny. He knew it was Danny._

 _"Danny!" he shouted, walking alongside debris to reach this hand coming out of the slabs of concrete on the ground. He caught it, squeezing hard as if it was his anchor but also to signaling his presence near him._

 _"I got you, buddy!"_

 _Steve couldn't help but to laugh, relieved to have found his partner._

 _"I'm right here. I got you."_

 _One by one, he hardly removed a heavy pile of concrete landing on Danny's chest. He didn't even care about his own pain, he just had to free his brother. He needed to. He was trained to suppress his suffering, and that was what he was doing by rescuing Detective Williams._

 _"My leg's pinned. I think I broke a rib."_

 _His heart sank by hearing his voice. He was happy for sure, but his tone was filled with pain and distress and it hurt him so much. Putting his torch between his jaws, he tried to lift the biggest block to free the leg, but nothing worked. The concrete beam did not move. His hands, sore and shaking, were tired but he could not stop._

 _"Where's the other guy? Uh?"_

 _"He's dead", Steve replied coldly, still too focused on anything else but Danny. "Okay, listen to me", he asked, taking his hand again in his own. "This thing's too heavy, I can't lift it. I got no cell service down here, so I can't call for help."_

 _"Okay."_

 _"I'm gonna go get something to give me some leverage, get this off your leg, okay? I'll be right back."_

 _He was about to leave, but Danny squeezed his hand harder, avoiding him to go find some help._

 _"Whoa, whoa. Don't go just yet."_

 _Confused, Steve approached his friend, wondering why he had to stay with him a little longer._

 _"Danny, relax. It's gonna be okay."_

 _"Is it okay? Because I'm in a… Confined space with uh… A bunch of concrete on top of me… And given my present condition, that's not… The best situation for me."_

I should have remembered sooner.

 _Steve felt guilty right now. He should have known. He should. But all this noise, all this dust and all confused him. He sighed, closing his eyes._

 _"Right, right. Claustrophobia."_

 _"Yeah."_

 _"Okay, take a deep breath, okay?"_

 _"No, that's not good. It makes it worse."_

 _"Danny. I got to get this off you."_

 _Three hours in this concrete maze, trying to get out. In vain until now. Steve was losing hope with time, although he had some calls from the outside. Catherine had managed to get a microphone to be able to talk to them, even to facetime. Now, they just had to find a way out without risking more lives, including Danny's and his._

 _"You see that piece of pipe hanging over you, Danny? Break it off and seal off one end for me", he asked, having a plan in mind._

 _He wasn't sure if it was going to work but it was the only thing he could think of._

 _"What are you gonna do with it?"_

 _"This slab of concrete… I'm gonna blow it up."_

 _It sounded crazy, but he was a NavySEAL; he did a lot of crazy stuff while overseas. It wasn't his first crazy one, surely not the last one he would have in mind to piss Danny off._

 _"You're gonna what? How does this not end up with both of us dying? You're gonna blow something up?"_

 _He unscratched the only grenade he had attached to his bullet-proof vest, his ears ringing again._

 _"It's called a directional charge. It sends the explosive energy in one direction. Anything that's behind it… theoretically… Is reasonably safe."_

I can't tell him that I've never done that before on the field. He would drive me crazy.

 _"It's, what, reasonably? Nothing of what you just said sounds reasonable, okay?" Danny said while Steve was unscrewing the firing device of the grenade to be able to use the powder inside._

 _"It's the best I could do."_

 _Using both his hands, his very slowly slid the powder into the close-up pipe._

 _"It's gonna work?"_

 _"I don't know", he answered truthfully._

 _He was positive. He had to. He had to believe that it was going to work. Because either it worked or they're dead. And he didn't want that for Danny. He had a beautiful daughter, a girlfriend he loved too. He couldn't do that to him or them. He took his lighter and used the little combustible cloth to create the wick of the cannon he was preparing. Finally, he used what he could find around him to secure the pipe and avoid the explosion to reach him and Danny as much as he could._

 _"Back up, get up in there."_

 _"Hold on. Before we do this, I just want you to know one thing."_

 _Curious, he didn't turn on his lighter and turned around to face Danny._

 _"What."_

 _"Whatever happens. I really. Really. From the bottom of my heart. Hate you so much."_

 _They both burst out laughing, hurting themselves in the process. But they both didn't care. They needed to laugh in order to relieve all the pressure before turning on a life and death device. And it was a way as well to say how much they loved each other._

 _"I love you too, pal."_

 _"I guess there's uh… A lot of people to die under a big pile of concrete with, uh?"_

 _"You want to do the honors?"_

 _"No, no. It's your idea, you do it."_

 _Steve turned around, using his lighter to put fire on the cloth. Yes, they loved each other so much. Steve loved Danny very much. He couldn't change that. He loved him more than Freddie, more than his own mom. He loved Danny from the bottom of his heart._

* * *

"Danno!"

Danny turned his right on the left and saw his two children running over him, with Rachel behind. He gave his ex-wife a questioning look while hugging Grace and Charlie.

"When you called me, I was in the car with them. They heard you."

He didn't say anything. In fact, he needed their presence to not think about Steve. The surgery began seven hours ago, and there was still no news about his condition. Junior repeatedly said that no news was good news, but Daniel wasn't sure of anything right now. Grace was old enough to surely understand what was happening, but his younger child was too young to figure out how bad the situation was.

"Danno, is Uncle Steve going to be okay?" he asked his father.

He knelt down to be as tall as Charlie and brushed his hair.

"We still don't know that yet, monkey", he answered truthfully. "But it's Uncle Steve, how he can't be okay."

With that, he smiled for the first time in hours, relieving his co-workers. Charlie joined Tani and Junior, and both Gracie and Rachel were waiting for answers.

"How bad is it? You were pretty vague over the phone."

"It's uh… This is pretty bad. The bullet lodged in the heart and the surgeon doesn't know if he's going to make it."

As his daughter was sixteen, turning seventeen soon, Danny had complied about the fact that she was grown-up enough for these kinds of stuff.

"You have to stay strong, Daniel. Steve is a fighter, he'll pull through", Rachel confirmed, approaching her ex-husband to kiss him on the cheek.

"I agree, Danno. Uncle Steve is gonna be okay. I am confident."

"Thank you, Grace. But it's been more than seven hours now."

"Heart surgeries can take quite some time. It's not unusual I think. The surgeons know what they do."

Of course, Danny had negative thoughts, but it was al normal. When it came to Steve, he was always negative. But he nodded, complying with what his daughter had just said. Just at the same time, a surgeon passed the automatic doors and went to meet them. They all faced him, waiting for an explanation. In thirty seconds, he said no word, worrying the whole group.

"Doc?" Danny managed to utter.

"He uh… He gave us quite a scare down there, but he's a real fighter", the surgeon revealed, relieving the Ohana. "We repaired his lung and his heart. We performed a reconstructive surgery for his sternum as well. It went as good as we could have expected."

Confused, Danny frowned.

"B-but you said that he scared you", he noticed.

"Indeed", the doctor confirmed, moving his head up and down. "He went into an anaphylactic shock during the surgery."

"An allergic reaction?" Junior asked, to which the doctor nodded, looking at him.

"He doesn't have any allergies", Danny confirmed.

"He doesn't have any reported allergies, that's why we couldn't know about it", the surgeon corrected. "When a patient is on bypass, we use a blood thinner to prevent a clot from traveling into the lungs, the heart or the brain. Or any part of the body. The most common medication we have at our disposal is the heparin."

"He already was on blood thinners, when he had his liver transplant. I-I don't understand."

"He was on heparin for a couple hours but apparently, when he woke up he complained about dizziness and medication making him sick, so they changed his blood thinners for Apixaban. The most common blood thinners we have here for bypass surgery being heparin, we didn't expect such an allergic reaction. We tried various other blood thinners and apparently his body is tolerating Apixaban better, which is why he was on them two years ago. We gave him epinephrine, which is used here as a bronchodilator and Benadryl, an antihistamine."

"So, he is okay now?" Grace asked, innocent.

"So far so good", the doctor said, smiling to the young girl. "We still have some trouble with stabilizing his heart rate, but after such a tricky major heart surgery, we will monitor his vitals closely; the next forty-eight to seventy-two hours will be highly critical, he's not out of the wood yet. He will remain heavily medicated, so he won't feel any pain for now. After the crucial period, we'll lower his pain medication and we will wake him up slowly."

"Can we see him?"

"Give the nurses some time to put him in a room in the cardiology area of the ICU, and you will be able to see him. But two at the time, not more."

"Thank you, Doctor."

"And no children allowed in the CICU, you know the rules."

"I am sixteen, can I see Uncle Steve?" Grace said very quickly.

The doctor stopped, wondering if the young girl was telling the truth. He turned toward the parents, who both nodded weakly.

"Sure."

The doctor excused himself; he was highly exhausted after almost eight hours of surgery. With that, Danny sighed and turned toward his daughter in order to talk to him.

"Grace, you should not see Uncle Steve right now."

"Why not?" she asked, frowning.

"I need someone to look after your brother, Grace."

"Danno, I want to see Uncle Steve. Why don't you want me to see him?" she said, starting to get upset.

Her father sighed again, not knowing what to do. His daughter was trying to go all through the teenage period, and she was quite challenging.

"I've seen what can happen in this kind of situation on TV shows."

"Since when do you watch these tv shows?"

"Daddy, I know how to use the internet", she stated the obvious.

"Alright, alright. Don't cry if it's too much to bear, okay?" he finally complied.

She smiled, very satisfied that her father had given up this idea.

"Thank you, Danno!"

She hugged Danny, while Charlie started pouting.

"Hey Charlie", Rachel said when she saw her son ready to cry.

"Why I can't see Uncle Steve and Grace can?"

"Charlie, Uncle Steve is very sick", his mother tried to explain. "And uh… Right now, he's very deeply asleep, so his body can only focus on healing."

"Is he okay?"

"Not yet", Williams said truthfully. "But he will be. Give it some time. That's why young kids are not allowed in the intensive care unit, patients in here can be scary sometimes."

"But Uncle Steve is not scary."

"Charlie, uh… Uncle Steve is deeply asleep because the doctors are afraid he could be in very high pain. They, uh…"

Danny hesitated, not sure that a seven-year-old kid could understand and face this kind of situation. He turned toward Rachel, who slowly nodded. He nodded back and focused on his son in front of him.

"His body can't work properly; he can't breathe on his own, his heart is not beating normally. He can't even go to the bathroom, monkey. There are, uh… Machines, doing these jobs for him, and these machines are… Noisy and scary. Even for adults, it can be scary."

Charlie nodded, disappointed.

"Doctors are also scared that if Uncle Steve's body works properly minutes after his surgery, he might be in too much pain. And uh… When you are in pain, your heart beats stronger, your breathing is more problematic, and uh… When the heart beats too fast, it can stop. After a heart surgery, it's too risky, do you understand?"

"I understand Danno", the young boy confirmed. "Can I see Uncle Steve when he gets better?"

"You will see him when he will be out of the ICU, okay? I promise. He'll be pleased to see you for sure."

"Okay... Can you give him a boo-boo kiss for me, please? I want him to get better soon."

"Sure, will do", Danny confirmed.

Fifteen minutes later, a nurse came to see the team, saying that Steve had been brought to a room and that he was ready for some visitors. Danny was the first to go with her accompanied by Grace, who couldn't wait any longer to see her Uncle. So, they entered the room, and Danny froze, receiving tons of information about Steve's condition for the first time in hours. He swallowed, continuing his path toward the bed to sit in an uncomfortable chair next to the bed, whispering some curses about his best friend. He was completely laying down, his head slightly coming to the right with his blue eyes closed. Cushions had been placed under both his arms, so the pressure wouldn't be a problem for the huge surgical site in the center of his chest. There was a very long gauze covering the opening, with blood marking the boundary of the site. A thin blanket was covering his legs and lower abdomen while a cold glove strewed his forehead. Probably to reduce the fever that very often accompanied this type of surgery. A thick, intravenous tube was planted to the left of his neck, giving him the drugs his body needed to fight pain but also to keep him in shape; saline, nutrients essential for proper internal functioning. Even drugs that Danny didn't know about. The blood thinner in particular.

But that was nothing compared to what Detective Williams feared most. Steve's lips were slightly ajar, letting a long tube going down to the level of his lungs. Two long pipes; one white and one blue; were attached to one end. Mechanical assisted ventilation. The noise being associated with it, this long squeal that was heard every time it filled his lungs with pure oxygen through the blue tube, made him shiver. His hairs would rise all the way along until he could hear the air coming out through the white tube. And this was a continuous process. But beyond that, there were those fast beeps, those following the heartbeats of his best friend and brother. Sometimes very fast, sometimes weaker, he was still reassured because it meant that Steve was alive. Just alive. Not awake, not talking, just... Lying down in the bed, focused on the healing process.

He raised his head, wondering why his daughter was not next to him; Grace was paralyzed, her eyes wide open, looking like she had seen a ghost. That was actually the first time she could see with her own gaze a member of his Ohana in such a bad shape. The detective stood up once again and approached his daughter to hug her.

"It's okay, Grace. It's okay."

"How… How can you not cry, Danno?" she asked with tears in her eyes.

He said nothing, closing his eyes. His older kid was still a child after all. That was why she was still sensitive about grown-up stuff. But she was old enough to understand them. He sighed.

"To tell you the truth… I can't. I can't because uh… Because we have to stay strong. For Uncle Steve. You know? He needs us, and… Crying is not helping him get better."

"I uh… I've seen this on a tv show. I thought I could handle this because I knew what to expect, but…"

"You can't deal with it. Because it's Ohana?"

Slowly, Grace nodded, ashamed. Yes, she was still a child, stuck between her childhood and her adult behaviors, her innocence and her knowledge.

"You can't get used to seeing this, Grace. I've seen Uncle Steve badly injured before. Many times, actually. But every single time, I got scared to death."

"Is it true?" she asked with tears in her eyes.

"It is. Right now, I am scared too. Because doctors don't know if he'll pull through. That's why they said they were closely watching him for the next three days; after that delay, it will be safe to say that he's going to make it."

She let tears flow down, hugging her father back.

"I don't want to see him like this", she revealed, whispering into his ears.

"I know sweetie, I know. You can go if you want to."

"I... I have something to do before."

Frowning, Danny broke the daughter-father hug, wondering what she was talking about. He said nothing, following Grace with his eyes approaching the bed despite her own fear. She bent down, and she just kissed his forehead, where the glove was not delivering its freshness.

"This is from Charlie, so you can get better soon."

She gave him another kiss, this time on his left cheek, careful about the tubes.

"This is from your favorite girl. I love you, Uncle Steve."

She smiled, turning around to hug her father and leave the room. This cheered up Danny's heart. He had to stay positive. He had to.

"You have to wake up now. Grace and Charlie would blame me forever if not."

* * *

 **A/N: that was a hell of a chapter, wasn't it? The Italic part comes from season 4 episode 19.**

 **Please leave me a review about your thoughts! I enjoy reading them and adapt the story base on what you say.**

 **And A-ZWorld? I am indeed not from an English-native country, far from that. I think France is the worst country when it comes to speaking in English (and if not, it's not far from the worst of all I think). So, thank you for the compliment^^ It melts my heart**


	6. Hearing your voice

Big hello from France, how are you doing on this beautiful Sunday?

Here we go for another chapter, the sixth!

Enjoy the reading!

* * *

 **CHAPTER 6**

Each member of the 5-0 Ohana had been able to say a few sweet words of quick recovery for two or three minutes, Danny having given up his place while everyone went in. Once done, he decided to lock himself in the hospital room, leaving Lou, Junior and Tani with all the paperwork waiting for them. The Governor wanted a full detailed report on the incident later that day, but without Steve's crucial testimony and Danny's explanation of the intervention, the three colleagues could just make suggestions about what really happened during the shooting. Only the radio calls could give more information but not more.

Tani didn't hide it; she was totally stressed, depressed. She couldn't believe that this man, her boss whom she considered a hero, could die at any time. In her mind, this was not possible. No matter how much she heard Captain Grover's reassuring words or the tenacity that Junior was praising Steve for, everything she thought about had just collapsed. Steve was human and nothing else.

"Tani. McGarrett is going to pull through. He always does."

She raised her head slightly; Lou had opened the door of her office and was standing in front of her desk, ready to appease her mind.

"He almost died, Lou. And he may still die as we speak."

"You sound as negative as Danny right now."

"I am not negative, I look things straight", she rectified in an angry tone.

Soon, she sighed and closed her eyes to pass the palm of her hands over her eyelids.

"I am sorry."

"Don't be. We are all in shock, and we have different ways of decompressing. Golf for me, running for Junior, Grace and Charlie for Danny. Swimming for Steve. You just have to find a way to help you stop thinking about what you see on the job. An activity giving you a way out of this."

Slowly, Officer Rey nodded and smiled. As a member of the 5-0 Task Force, she could see and do things she would never have suspected when she entered the Honolulu Police Academy. And sometimes, there was this weight on her mind; she could do nothing but to keep all that for herself. Lou had always good advice; she had to find something to run away for her daily life.

* * *

Every hour or so, Danny woke up. It was undeniable. As soon as a nurse entered the room to make sure that everything was going well with Steve, he opened his eyes to observe the slightest gesture from them. He saw them writing meaningless words on the file attached to the bed, he saw them wiping his sweaty brow, replacing the bags of fluids and medication as soon as they started to be empty, checking that his body was producing uric acid and that it was evacuating it. Apparently, a large amount of urine indicated that the kidneys were functioning perfectly and that his body was recovering optimally. Daniel could only trust them; he had never been to medical school after all.

Sometimes, a special nurse approached to suction the accumulating secretions along the ET tube, so that they would not travel into his lungs and start an immune reaction, which could turn into pneumonia or sepsis in the worst case. It was very difficult to look at, and also to bear when the person undergoing all this was the person you liked the most, who you saw as a brother, replacing the one who had never known how to be there when he needed it. He still couldn't accept that his hypothetical last conversation with Steve ended in an argument, and especially in an insult. Remorse was ingrained in him and he couldn't get rid of it.

"You have to open your eyes, okay?" The officer started with a broken but soft voice. "I can't let you go, not after an argument, you know?"

But obviously, he couldn't have an answer; a very high dose of the strongest painkillers they had in the hospital was traveling into his system and was keeping him away from reality until the doctor could consider Steve stable enough to withdraw the sedation and handle the pain. With this tube down his throat? From his own point of view, it was impossible. Any dignified human would panic if he was not in control of his breathing, which would probably not be the case when McGarrett woke up. That was his biggest concern; his reaction to the situation despite the many drugs traveling through his bloodstream. Was he going to hurt himself even more? Was he going to wake up exactly as the nurses predicted? Was he going to let it happen or was he going to fight it? Danny knew his colleague too well to know that he would not facilitate the work of the staff, quite the contrary. He was too unpredictable for that.

"Do you realize that I am actually talking to a wall? Because a nurse told me that you could hear my voice, even with all the bunch of sweet medication in your body", he joked, trying to break the heavy silence.

The only thing filling the room was the screams of the ventilator that was keeping Steve's breathing intact, pushing pure oxygen into his lungs. A noise Detective Williams had learned to tolerate but still hated as much as ever.

"If you really can hear me, I want you to know that, uh... I don't blame you. I can't. You did what you thought was right and... And you couldn't have foreseen that this bullet was made for going through bulletproof vests."

He could remember Steve's voice on the radio asking for backup where he was, these gunshots fired, bullets whistling in his best friend's head. When he had no further news from him, at least to say that he had neutralized the suspect, his own heart squeezed tight and he became afraid. Unless he gave the indication, he always gave news when he was separated from his teammate. And above all, he had sensed that something was not right. Tani's panicked voice in his ear was a good indicator to confirm the situation. He could not blame him for all this. He had done everything to give the best of his abilities, and that wasn't enough to get him out of it.

"At least, you called for backup", Danny teased with a smile covering his face. "And just for that, I am proud of you. I will buy you an ice cream when you get better. Think of it as a reward."

* * *

 _His head hurt so much. A massive headache coming from his right side. He remembered the crossfire between Wo Fat and himself. He remembered shooting him in the middle of his forehead, but what about him? He was also shot, but where? To the head? To his chest? He didn't feel anything. He was just tired._

 _"Steve? Steve, you alright?"_

 _This voice, distant and worried, he knew it. Danny. He heard feet on the ground, but he seemed paralyzed. What liquid was in the syringe? Was it these side effects? Or was it those hours spent being tortured that weakened him to the point of no longer being able to respond or move? It was only when he felt a very cold hand on his sweaty and shaky body that he started his move again._

 _"Come on! You alright, you alright."_

 _This reassuring voice calmed him down, although he had some reassurance. The man with the melodious and sweet voice helped him to stand upright, leaning against the wall behind him despite the dizziness._

 _"You alright, uh? You alright"_

 _He opened his eyes, looking straight ahead, then to the left. Lou and Chin. A great relief for him, unless he was hallucinating one last time before the end. As if to reassure him about his own death._

 _"Yeah", he whispered._

 _He couldn't look to his right. He knew Danny was there, a supporting hand caressing the top of his back, but he didn't dare to look him in the eye. He was ashamed. Because it was the first time he had seen him in such a state of emotional and physical weakness._

 _"Yeah. Where's my father? I want to see my dad."_

 _Steve couldn't even understand the words coming out of his mouth. He was disoriented, passive, tired. He finally looked to the right, but without looking at Danny; he was looking behind him. Kono, kneeling down, shocked by the horror vision in front of her._

 _"I wanna see my dad", he repeated more weakly._

 _He could feel the sweat merging with his own blood to flow down his face. He could feel the heat rushing into him and the cold in contrast on his bare chest. He looked everywhere, and finally, he looked into his partner's eyes. For the first time since his arrival in the gloomy and damp room. He wanted comfort from the one person he trusted completely, to whom he could trust his life without an ounce of hesitation._

 _"Buddy, your dad died four years ago, okay?"_

 _Steve knew all this, but he had forgotten. His friend's words hit him hard without him being able to control his emotions. So what was all that charade about? His father coming out of this trap set by Viktor Hesse alive? A simple hallucination he had created to endure the excruciating torture he was being subjected to. It was one of the techniques that every soldier learned to survive; thinking of a happy ending. Knowing that his father had survived this attack four years earlier was what he would have needed to experience those moments he did not. Because he was angry at him for sending him to the mainland without almost any explanation, for separating him from his sister. Now, he knew why John had done all this; it was in order to protect him and his sister from Wo Fat and the Yakuza so that they would not use them as a deterrent to his father's investigation. He now knew, and he didn't blame him._

 _"All right?"_

 _"Yeah. Yeah."_

 _No, it wasn't okay. Not at all even._

 _But now that Wo Fat was dead, that his father was avenged, that his mother too in a way, he could mourn as he should have and move on. Vulnerable, weak, he could not help but let a few tears run down his cheeks._

 _"You're alright", Danny._

 _Always those comforting words from his best friend. Everything he needed to regain the strength to get up and get out of that room that made him claustrophobic. He nodded, raising his arm to lean on Danny's shoulder._

 _"Yeah, let's go."_

 _"Alright."_

 _He missed his sweet words. A voice, his voice, kept telling him to open his eyes and wake up. But all he wanted was Danny. To see it, to feel it. To hug him. To love him. This voice was all he wanted for now._

* * *

 **A/N: What happens next? You'll see with the seventh chapter tomorrow!**

 **This Italic part comes from season 5 episode 7 (Ina paha)**

 **thank you for the reviews by the way ^^**


	7. From dark to light

Hello dear readers! Sorry about the delay, but I had things to do in real life and it's more important than a fanfiction story actually (to me).

SO, here is the seventh chapter, taking place two days after the end of the previous chapter.

I hope you will like it ^^

* * *

 **CHAPTER 7**

Forty hours in Hell. This was what he had experienced until now. Locked up in this room, pacing around. The nurses already tried to get him out of here, at least to breathe some fresh air, but nothing had worked. He stayed there completely still, holding Steve's right hand, waiting almost impatiently for him to show even a slight sign of awakening. In vain so far. He didn't sleep, he didn't eat unless someone brought him a sandwich. He didn't drink except when Tani, Rachel, Lou or Junior came to check in. Almost two days without washing or shaving. He had become a ghost. A simple azure glance at him could be enough to reconnect him to reality, but for the moment, he was just a body asleep, assisted by a machine.

"You should change your clothes, Detective. Just the smell could bring a dead man back!" the Doctor joked.

"Thank you very much", Danny answered with a fake smile.

"Seriously, you should shower and get yourself cleaned. You barely left that chair since the Commander's admission."

He sighed.

"I... I don't want him to wake up without anyone by his side", he admitted. "Given his condition, he will panic."

"Detective, Danny. Steve won't wake up until I order to lower the pain medication. I can guarantee that. It is, therefore, more than certain that he won't wake up if you take a break and some time for yourself. And then, if you decide to go out a bit, I will let you know when I give that order."

Danny thought, doubtful. He knew he needed to go out and take care of himself. Having a big meal, wash and shave his growing beard. He needed to feel the warmth of the sun on his skin although in front of Steve, he admitted he didn't like the warmth of Hawaii. And even less to love the island. And yet, he had become addicted to it. When he returned to New Jersey to see his family, his only thought turned to Hawaii and his lifestyle. A lively but pleasant life, interspersed with surfing sessions, ice and shrimp dishes delicately made by Kamekona.

"Is that a promise?"

"Indeed. I can already tell you that I am more than satisfied with the assessment I have just made on your friend and..."

"Brother. Steve is my uh... What do you call it here? Kaina?"

"If he's younger than you, yes. If he is older, he is called kua'ana."

"I'm the oldest."

"So he is your kaina, and you are his kua'ana."

"And what is Kahuna then? Many members of our Ohana call him this way", he asked intrigued.

He had never dared to ask what it was about, for fear of being seen as uncultured.

"Kahuna? Oah, an ahole receiving this title is really... Impressive."

"He was born and raised in Hawaii, his family is here for three generations", Danny tried to explain, hoping that Steve would no longer be seen as an ahole by his own doctor.

"I understand now. Traditionally, a Kahuna is one who is seen as an expert in his profession. Generally, they were the wisest people on the island due to their high knowledge. A Kahuna these days is anyone who is seen as a wise man, full of kindness and respectful of Hawaiian traditions."

"That's Steve. He always yells at me when I break a Hawaiian law or break an ancestral tradition."

"Hawaiians are very respectful of tradition, including criminals. They are all afraid of the Kapus, the guardians of these traditions and our lifestyle."

"Nice to hear that. We call Kawika more often then."

"Kawika? The head of the Kapu?"

"Yeah, we uh... We had a case a long time ago involving former Kapus. He's one of the few people calling Steve a Kahuna."

"This is... This is a great mark of respect from him. This means that he considers him as a Kapu."

"I don't know, but as soon as a Kapu or a former Kapu might be involved in a case, Steve calls him first. Anyway, all this to say that Steve is my little brother in the heart."

"I understand, believe me. As I said earlier, I went through his blood tests and I think it's wise to lower the morphine dose this afternoon, let him wake up at his own pace. Hopefully, he won't have a panic attack because of the assisted ventilation."

"You don't know Steve as I do; he's not going to like it at all. I even think you should stay around, just in case it goes wrong."

"I will be in the OR for most of the afternoon but two of my men will be in the department. I will warn them to stay alert and come here every thirty minutes."

Danny smiled, thanking the leaving doctor. He approached Steve's face, delicately taking his freezing hand with his.

"Did you hear that? Very soon, I will be able to see those blue-grey eyes of yours."

He straightened, thinking back to what the surgeon had told him earlier. Steve wouldn't like to see him as bad as he is like today.

"You know what? I will come back in a few hours. I uh... I have things to do before you wake up", he tried to explain, although he doubted Steve could hear him. "No foolish things, uh?"

He squeezed his hand a little more before letting go and finally leaving the room for the first time in two days. The nurses said nothing to see him walking down the hall, having been informed by the doctor that he was probably finally going to get out of his monk mode. The first thing he did was to go to his house to change his clothes and take a big shower. He stayed below the hot water for thirty minutes, taking the time to enjoy it and shave his beard. Then, he decided to leave for Kamekona's shrimp truck. His sinfulness had made him want to do so for several days, but he could not really indulge in this undisclosed pleasure. The boss of the truck was happy and satisfied to see him outside Steve's room and even served him a double portion for the price of one because he saw the impressive state of weakness in which Danny was. He also took care to bring him something to drink for the rest of the day and promised to bring him the garlic shrimp he loved most of all. At one in the afternoon, the detective headed for the hospital. Luckily, he was not far from the office so he stopped by to greet his colleagues and tell them that the doctor was lowering the dose of medication to let Steve wake up at his own pace, which filled Junior, Tani and Lou with joy.

* * *

 _He just got released from the hospital after two weeks in a damn ward with doctors looking for any problem with his new liver. Danny's liver. Steve was too proud of himself to even be able to say thank you. And he was angry at himself. He saw every passing day that it weighed on Danny's conscience to have no consideration. After all, he had saved his life, because without that liver, he would have died right now. In addition to being a brother in the heart, they were lucky enough to have the same blood type. Life had done things really well. And most importantly, after this parkour chase through the streets and rooftops of Honolulu, Steve had reopened his surgical incision. It didn't hurt too much if he didn't move. But what he feared most was the look of a Danny mad with rage, because he hadn't taken care of his liver. He had just returned from his car, bringing back a clean shirt with him because the one he was wearing was stained with his own blood._

 _"Hey. How's the girl?" Steve asked, trying not to think about his apprehension._

 _"Locked in a room for five days. How do you think she is?"_

 _In the tone of his voice, Danny was REALLY very angry._

I am in trouble.

 _"Listen, you should go to the hospital and get that looked at properly, okay?" he continued._

 _"I'm fine."_

I shouldn't have said that. I am really in trouble now.

 _"You're fine? That's good", she said, waving his arms everywhere. "I'm uh… I'm gonna put that on your tombstone. He said he was fine, he was wrong. What is the matter with you?"_

 _He sighed, turning around to look at the paramedic next to him._

 _"Can you do me a favor, give us a second."_

 _The EMT nodded and went back to his ambulance while Steve turned to face Danny once again._

 _"What is the matter with you", Detective Williams repeated._

 _He needed to say it. He had to say it. He had to. He placed his hand over his hip, taking a deep breath, locking his eyes and Danny's._

 _"I love you."_

 _Danny seemed surprised to him because he had tilted his head back slightly, making a grimace._

 _"I love you too."_

 _"Okay, then give me a break. Would you give me a break?"_

 _It's not that he didn't like him, he loved him. But something, he needed some space and he clearly had any since the shooting took place. He needed some fresh air but he couldn't breathe properly._

 _"You want a break? All right. I'll step aside, watch where you get yourself killed. Is that what you want?"_

Danny's boiling blood…

 _"I'm not trying to get myself killed!" he stated, sounding furious._

 _"No? You're sure? Because that's a relief. Because it seems like, for the last five, six years, that that's been the goal."_

 _"Again, I think you're being a little uh… Overdramatic."_

I shouldn't have said that either…

 _"Okay, you know what? Forget it. Good luck. Good luck!"_

 _He felt bad. Very bad. He had never seen Danny is such a madness argument with him. Never._

 _"Hey, wait. Wait."_

 _"Wait for what, what do you want?"_

 _He let Danny take a few steps, but he really felt like he was being a jerk. He had to tell him what was on his conscience, what had been bothering him for days._

 _"Danny…"_

 _"What?" he said, turning around once again toward Steve._

 _The Commander sighed, placed his hand over his chest and racing heart. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes._

 _"Thank you."_

 _Finally, he'd been able to say these two words. It was simple. But for Steve, it was a huge step. He never said thank you the way he did for Danny before._

 _"You're welcome", a soft voice answered._

 _It was like a weight leaving the police officer's shoulders. He could feel it from where he was. Just for that, he wanted to open his eyes. After what happened to him with the suspect, Danny should be frightened, scared to death about the situation. He couldn't leave his brother like this. He couldn't leave without saying himself that he loved him. He gathered all his strength to focus on opening his eyes. He wanted to see these blue eyes, to see that smile. He wanted Danno._

* * *

Six hours after returning to Steve's bedside, he had not moved an inch. He had already asked the nurse and the two doctors under the surgeon's orders if all this was normal, but apparently yes. Waking someone up could take four to twelve hours depending on the dose of medication used. Steve's being particularly important under the circumstances, the medical staff felt that his first sign of awakening should arrive soon. A real ordeal for Danny. He had tried to stimulate him by talking to him, by gently taking his icy hand in his own, but nothing worked.

"It's time to wake up, sleeping beauty. Nap time is over now", he joked as his patience was about to expire.

Suddenly, Steve's heart rate, indicated on the monitor above the bed, became more intense, faster. Instinctively, Danny straightened up, calling his name to encourage him further. His reaction was quite different; as expected, he began to fight against the tube anchored in his throat. At first, it was just a simple and weak cough, but as the seconds passed, it turned into a very powerful gag that could be likened to a violent seizure.

The alarm went off and the detective began to worry even more. Despite his weak condition, Steve continued to struggle. To prevent him from hurting himself while the nurses arrived, he got up and gently placed his arms on the bed, paying close attention to the tube in his chest. He was in pain for his best friend when he discovered that little tear running down his cheek because the pain seemed so insurmountable. Or maybe it was the feeling of that tube in his airways, which prevented him from breathing when he coughed with all his might to clear his lungs.

In less than ten seconds, two nurses and the two doctors rushed into the room under Danny's dark eyes, the one who said 'I told you so'. But strangely enough, he didn't blame them; it was a standard procedure to keep the breathing machine until the patient wakes up. Fortunately, Emily the head nurse had already prepared everything to ease the transition. Several times, as Steve's heartbeat beat stronger and faster, she suctioned along the tube before removing it completely. The commander could not help but cough more while the second nurse applied an oxygen mask, the thin tube delivering pure oxygen being replaced by the blue tube of the ventilation machine. The coughing faded quickly as he took some unstable and irregular breaths for the first time in almost three days. Danny took advantage of his fading gag to take his hands off and sit back down, relieved that it was over and worried that his best friend still wasn't able to take deep breaths.

It took time, several minutes even, but his condition stabilized; he could take stronger and more regular breaths. Satisfied, one of the doctors asked Steve to open his eyes if he could hear him. His only answer was another cough. Explaining that they would come back when he would be fully awake to perform some neurological tests since the sailor had remained for long minutes dead, it was to see if the oxygen deprivation had had any consequences on the brain. Once he left, Danny focused again on Steve's face, trying to pierce his features.

"I know you're awake", he whispered.

And then, slowly but surely, Steve's eyelids raised. What was for him a simple shadow became less a blur and clearer. Azure blue eyes met grey-blue eyes, and Danny could only smile back at him. "Hey, welcome back."

Through the oxygen mask, the officer could see that Steve's lips were moving but not a sound was coming out.

"No need to talk right now, okay? Rest a little longer, we'll see about that later", he said, although he was intrigued by what Steve wanted to say.

A coughing fit seized Steve, who took this moment to clear his voice and try again with more strength and conviction. Only three words came out of his mouth.

"Book'em, Danno..."

Weak but here. He smiled, preventing himself from laughing so as not to wake him up since he had fallen asleep again. No need for any neurological testing. Steve was right there. He was finally back.

* * *

 **A/N: What do you think? You might have recognized this dialogue; it was indeed from the premiere of season seven, after Steve had chased the suspect.**

 **Tell me your thoughts, I am intrigued!**


	8. What I have done

Hello fellas! I hope you will have a great weekend!

Here is a new chapter to start this Saturday as it should!

Enjoy the reading!

* * *

 **CHAPTER 8**

Slowly but surely, Steve came to life and his consciousness was more anchored in reality. It took him many extra hours before he could stay awake for more than two minutes in a row. Fortunately, Steve could handle the pain much more than anyone else. The surgeon had even performed the neurological tests himself, and nothing seemed to be wrong with the commander's memory.

He remembered every detail, from being shot but only noticing it when the suspect was down, dead and stiff. He remembered feeling like he was dying, fighting more than anything else in the world to stay awake and see Danny one last time, but he only had Tani by his side. He remembered asking her to tell his partner and brother that he was sorry and that he loved him. But he kept it to himself because he didn't know if she had repeated it to him. However, he felt a tension between him and Detective Williams. Something intense, electric. But he didn't know what it was.

"Danny... The other suspect...", he asked, trying to break the ice.

"The one still alive or the other one who took a bullet between his two eyes?" he answered sarcastically.

"The first one..."

"Lou and Junior made him talk. He gave us all his contacts and right now, the police is shutting down their traffic. The case is closed."

"Good... Very good..."

"But you and I, we have to talk. Now."

Steve said nothing, just as Danny. Just seeing the expression on the cop's face was enough for the sailor to guess that he was going to have a hard time; his eyes were filled with anger. A dark one. That was all he needed to understand what the problem was.

"Tani told you..."

Danny clenched his fist and slapped them violently on the bed, making Steve startle slightly.

"Of course she told you, what did you expect, uh? You really thought she would keep that for herself? Are you nuts all the time or you're sleeping sometimes!"

He was very angry and he could see and hear that.

"Danno..."

"Do not Danno me! Not today, not now, Steven! This is not a good time!"

Steve sealed his lips; he knew that when his best friend was angry, he had to let him talk until he had the green light to talk, until he knew it was over. That was the best thing to do.

"Do you know what it did to me? To hear these words? I thought it was your last words before passing out, Steve! What did you expect? That if you were lucky enough to pull through, I would forget everything? That I would forgive you? I am angry, and you have no idea how much I hate you right now!"

After three seconds without a word, Steve decided to open his mouth, thinking that it was the signal for a justification.

"I didn't know he had a gun, Danny."

"You didn't know? Steve, he's a bad guy! Of course he had a gun, you idiot! But you, you act before thinking, you could have been killed! Heck, you were dead, Steve! For several minutes before surgery, you were dead; your heart stopped beating, you stopped breathing! God knows what Tani have done to save your ass! And during the whole surgery, you were dead on a gurney for almost ten hours, think about it! YOU. WERE. DEAD!"

"But I am here, well alive, so what's the problem?"

"The problem! You don't see the problem? Why didn't you wait for backup! Why didn't you wait for me!"

Now, Steve could understand why Danny was angry at him. It was about what he told Tani but also about his behavior regarding the operation.

"I am your partner, your backup for nine years, and you still act in solo! How am I suppose to cover you if you're far away for me? How I am supposed to protect you when you're chasing a guy, uh?! You were miles away from me, do you understand?! You can't be patient, you never wait for me! I already lost two partners and I certainly don't want to lose another one! Not you! But you keep ignoring what I say, you keep ignoring me! I can't go down this road!"

Danny stopped in his speech, taking a deep breath while Steve remained there, observing his partner. He had every right to be angry. It was justified; he had never waited for backup, he didn't stay with his partner, the one who always covered his back when needed and as much as necessary. But this time, Danny couldn't be there because he had followed a suspect on his own, something that could be related to a serious professional misconduct in the Police. He had not done his job properly, and this could have lead to his own death.

"I can't be your partner if you don't listen to me. We are supposed to be there for each other hand the fact that you almost died taking this bullet while you had no backup makes me feel useless to you. I have the feeling of having failed as a backup. I failed as a backup. And as a friend. I can't continue like this. I can't anymore", he continued more calmly, as if his voice was fading as he spoke.

Suddenly, Danny got up, staggering to the room door and started to open it.

"It's tired of all this. I am done."

And then, he went out and slammed the door shut, making the walls tremble and Steve with it. He walked past the nurses' office without a word, lowering his head to hide the many tears that were beginning to run down his face. All the anger he had accumulated since the incident had just been unleashed, all the tension had suddenly subsided. As if he was freeing himself from a weight impossible to carry on his shoulders. And as Danny rushed out of the hospital, Steve kept looking at the door, completely paralyzed by misunderstanding. What he knew was that what he had told Tani shortly before he closed his eyes in that alley was the starting point for all this.

"What have I done...", he whispered for himself as he laid his hands on his face, hiding his own tears.

* * *

 _He was really worried about Danny. After surviving a bacteriological threat and being locked up in a ward of the hospital for more ten days to monitor any problems with the antidote and stop any possible contamination, Danny had just been shot in the chest by a man he obviously didn't recognize. But most importantly, Steve didn't have enough medical experience to help his best friend as he should. He could only watch his condition deteriorate as the firefighters, the bomb squad and Lou were doing everything they could to help them and save Danny's life. Because yes, he knew his life was in danger just by seeing his vitals on the cardiac monitor. Because now, the latter screaming, plunging Steve back into an emotional state he didn't recognize. He was simply listening to the doctor asking him to run his fingers over the wound, obviously worried that there was a problem with the dressing Steve had made._

 _"There's something under his skin. There's like… Like these bumps under his skin."_

 _That was the weirdest thing he'd ever had to touch so far. He had seen gunshot wounds, amputations, landmine damage, rockets damage, homemade cluster bombs damage. He had seen almost every possible injury and never in his life would he have imagined panicking at the mere sight of a gunshot wound to the chest, especially in an area that normally was not dangerous. But it was Danny. His Danny._

 _"Those are air bubbles. That's a tension pneumothorax, possibly from a bronchopleural fistula."_

 _"What does that mean?"_

 _"That his chest is filling up with air faster than it's escaping and now, it putting pressure on his heart. We need to alleviate that pressure."_

Except that I don't know how to do it, doc.

 _"How we gonna do that?"_

 _"I'm gonna walk you through it. Tani, I need you to find some antiseptic wipes and towels", Dr. Keller instructed. "Junior, I need you to find a disposable scalpel. Also look for a Kelly clamp; it's like a thin pair of scissors with teeth."_

 _A few minutes passed without him being able to remember what had just happened, as if he had just lost many seconds of memory. The shock of the situation perhaps? Fear? Yes, because Steve couldn't admit it, but he was scared to death. He knew what Dr. Keller wanted; he had to do the surgery himself and it hurt him to think that if he missed that operation... He was going to kill his best friend. He swallowed hard, rejecting all the negative thoughts he could find in his innards. Think positive. He had to think positive. Danny was going to be fine, everything would be fine. He could do it. He even had to._

 _"Commander, I want you to take Detective Williams' right arm and put it over his head."_

 _He swallowed again, looking at Danny's face one last time before having to focus on saving his life. He proceeded to take his freezing arm and place it just above his head, as requested._

 _"Now, turn his head to the left."_

 _He put his fingers on his jaw and rolled his head towards the window before looking at the doctor, waiting for instructions._

 _"You're gonna cut into the right side of his chest. First, find the middle of his collarbone."_

 _He took a deep breath, feeling the area where he knew he had to find his right clavicle. The doctor he had known in the field had already told him once that the middle of the clavicle was approximately perpendicular to the trunk and nipple. He nodded, indicating without a word that he had succeeded._

 _"Then slide your finger down until you feel his first rib."_

 _Gradually, he went down, trying to do his best to stay on that imaginary line he had drawn for himself so as not to lose the middle of the collarbone._

 _"Got it."_

 _"All right, good. Now, you're gonna make an incision about two inches long between his fourth and fifth ribs. It's gonna be difficult; you're gonna have to cut through flesh and tissue."_

 _His heart stopped for a moment at the thought of having to do this when he technically could not do everything he was asked to do. But he had to. For Danny. For Grace. With an almost shaky hand, he quickly pulled himself together so that he could make a clean incision. Blood spurted from the wound, making Steve's desire to vomit resurface. He swallowed more saliva, trying to remove all emotion from his head. In vain so far._

 _"Okay."_

 _"Now, slide your left index finger into the incision and feel for the fifth rib."_

 _He was going through hell. Was that how Danny felt on the plane when he passed out after losing literally half his blood volume? How could Williams have landed the plane on the beach, without fuel, in such an emotional state? Even he wondered how he could not panic when facing with the situation. But then, he remembered that he was a NavySEAL, that he had been trained to endure much worse than that. But nothing was working; his fear of losing Danny was greater. He approached his friend's face, hoping that he still could hear him._

 _"Anything I owe you, for you giving me your liver, we're even."_

 _He placed his finger inside the wound he had created, entering inch by inch until feeling a rib below._

 _"I'm in", he simply said, not trusting his voice if he had to pronounce more words._

 _"Junior, give him the Kelly clamp."_

 _The unofficial 5-0 Task Force member gave him the scissors as he tried not to shudder._

 _"Okay, Commander: Place the tip carefully into the incision and then, do a little blunt dissection to get through the tissue to the rib."_

 _Concentrated, almost relaxed but with a touch of tension, he pushed the tip of the scissors, guiding it with the help of his finger still inside of him._

 _"Okay."_

 _"Advance the tip of the Kellys to just over the top of the rib. Make sure you stay close to the rib so you don't nick any arteries."_

 _Pushing more on the sharp instrument he had in hand, he inserted his finger deeper into the open wound to be sure of what he was currently doing._

 _"Okay."_

 _"Now, you're going to carefully puncture his chest wall. That's going to relieve the pressure."_

 _Just as his sentence ended, the heart monitor attached to Danny's chest went wild, screaming._

 _"Push in", the doctor simply ordered._

 _"Doc, we're losing him!" Tani cried out._

 _"Push in", Dr. Keller asked again._

 _Without an ounce of hesitation, Steve used much of his remaining strength to grab the pair of scissors and push it as far as he could. It was unpleasant, disgusting but after three seconds, a sound of air escaping came to his ears._

 _"I feel the air coming out."_

 _"That's it. Vitals are stabilizing."_

 _Reassured, Steve leaned over again to be near Danny._

 _"You did it", he whispered in his ear._

 _"Okay, now Commander, I want you to remove the clamp. Put your finger back in the incision and sweep it from side to side to make sure nothing is blocking the opening. Junior, get ready to cover with the gauze and the tape."_

 _One last time, he inserted his index finger into his chest wall and checked that everything was fine. A few air bubbles came out at the same time, disgusting him even more than before, but everything seemed okay. He removed his finger, spilling Danny's blood more while Junior placed a large bandage over the wound and secured the site with tape._

 _"Good, that's right."_

* * *

That day, he had been scared. Scared to death, because for the first time in his life, he didn't want to lose the only one person he loved the most in the world, which could have been possible if he never had done that to save him. It had been scary, but he would do it a million time again if he could save Danny's life. That was the first time he could feel this emotion; live this traumatic experience over and over again to save someone's life. This was reality. Reality was when they could be happy together, messing with each other. When they could smile, love and hate each other at the same time. But now, this reality was Hell. Danno was angry, he hated him for what he had told Tani. He perfectly knew what it was to lose a partner, his best friend. He already went through this when Freddie died in North Korea in order to cover him and save him, and he had sworn to not live again and again this unpleasant memory. But Danno hated him. He had lost this friendship he loved, this brotherhood he'd never had. He had lost Danny. His Danno.

* * *

 **A/N: so what do you think? Do you need a tissue after that chapter? Of course Danno can only be angry with Steve! And the latter understands why he is.**

 **The flashback, as you noticed, comes from season 8 episode 10, when Steve had to perform a life-saving surgery on Danny.**

 **Share your thoughts with me in a review! I am very pleased to read them!**


	9. Heart break

Good morning people! I hope you are having a good and sunny Sunday. Well, the sun is shining here in Northern France (but it's cold; I have a blanket over my shoulders right now).

I have to admit, the previous chapter was quite dramatic for Danny and Steve. The detective had a burnout and let go of all his emotions at once on Steve. This had quite a powerful impact over him, and he had to deal with the consequences.

This chapter is here to show you how hard it is for Steve to deal with his own emotions and feelings regarding Danny, and I truly hope you will enjoy it.

Have a nice Sunday!

* * *

 **CHAPTER 9**

After his altercation with Danny, everything changed for Steve. For the first time, an argument had turned dramatically. He felt like he had lost a part of himself, as if someone had ripped off his heart again from his chest. Not having him next to him when he had done everything he could to come back was the worst torture he'd ever faced. What was the purpose of fighting in this reality when it had become a prison to him? He didn't want this. He wanted it to stop.

So, a few hours later, once the doctor came to visit him, he asked for all treatments to be stopped; the blood thinner, the painkiller, everything. He even asked to stop the cardiac monitoring and for the removal of the chest tube. And finally, he asked to go home against medical advice. Although at first he refused, Dr. Kehako had little choice; Steve had all his faculties and had not been pressured by anyone. The only person who could have been able to comfort him, to support him, was not present. He had ruined everything. Once again. And this time, there was no turning back. So he went home alone. No one was waiting for him anyway. Very quickly, he put his things on the couch and took the stairs to his room. To mourn forever.

His heart was pounding hard on his sore ribs, his weakened breathing made him more tired. Barely fifteen steps and Steve was already totally exhausted. He dragged himself into his room, dropping on the sheets like a starfish and thinking back to everything he had just experienced since the incident. As a NavySEAL, he had been taught never to crack under pressure or torture. He had not given in when Freddie died, nor when he heard his father being shot at the other end of the phone by Viktor Hesse. But this time, it was different. He had lost the person he considered his dearest friend. Even more than Catherine when they were together, more than her sister or Joan. Even more than anyone else on Earth. And he had lost him, probably forever. This time, he did not repress his tears. He let them flow freely, until it hurt.

* * *

At the office, it was a mess as well. Danny had called in sick and had left Lou, Tani, Junior and Jerry handle the 5-0 Task Force. Not long before, they had received a rather concerning call from Dr. Kehako, who was worried about Steve's physical and mental health. He explained that he had asked for treatment to be stopped and that he had gone home. A thing that wasn't to be done when you were still in a critical condition, which could deteriorate at any time. After talking to the nurses, he felt it was necessary to explain that Steve and Danny had had a fight a few hours earlier and that Danny had left the room very angry and that no one at the hospital had seen him ever since. The four colleagues immediately understood that the two friends had discussed what Steve had whispered to Tani shortly before he succumbed to darkness. About that apology and love for Danny that he would have liked to express.

He was the only one able to control Steve in such an emotional state, but since he was the cause, the only way to understand this decision was to turn to his sister, Mary-Ann. Even if she was currently living on the mainland, she would never let her brother down. When they informed her of everything that had just happened, she did not hesitate for a second to grab the next plane with her daughter to change his mind and cheer him up. It took her a good extra half day to get to Hawaii, but immediately after arriving and getting to know the two new team members and Eddie, she asked to go see Steve alone, the three of them anxious to take care of Joan until the problem was solved.

Entering the house, she was fortunate enough to know all the security codes to avoid triggering alarms and went around without a noise. Finding no one on the ground floor or in the garden, she went up to the mezzazzine and crossed the threshold of her brother's door. From where she was, she could hear him crying and it tore her heart out. The last time she saw him or heard him cry was when he lost his first love. A complicated story that he should never have explained to her, but after what he had just experienced at the time, he needed to free himself from this burden, and Mary had been the only person present for him. Not even Joe knew about this story. No one else but her. She saw him rolled into a ball, hiding his tears.

"Steve?"

Suddenly, his tears froze on his -Ann. He knew it was her. As best he could, he straightened up and sat on the edge of the bed, leaving enough place for his sister to sit next to him.

"Talk to me, Steve. What's wrong", she asked, putting her warm hand behind his back to rub it.

He didn't answer for a while. So much anger towards himself and so much sadness was overwhelming him. But he knew he could talk to her freely. She was his sister and had already seen him in a state of intense stress and physical weakness. He knew he could count on her to keep it a secret.

"Danny and I had a fight. When I... When I thought I was dying, I asked Tani to tell him that I was sorry and that I loved him."

"Oh."

"He completely went crazy. I think that... That all the anger he had accumulated so far was suddenly released and..."

"And you took it all in full force", Mary continued, sitting on her brother's bed.

Steve closed his eyes, engulfing his head hard between his knees to hide his emotion.

"I ruined everything."

"Steve..."

She said nothing, shocked to learn that the two best friends had reached this breaking point. Without him seeing it, she decided to take her phone and record their conversation. It wasn't something she used to do, but maybe if she could give it to Danny, he would understand Steve better about this situation?

"You didn't ruin everything, it's just a fight, nothing else."

"Nothing else? You didn't see the look on his face, Mary. I fought hard not to die and... All I see in him now is hatred and anger", he admitted, discouraged.

"What I meant was that Danny was angry. It wasn't really against you, was it? Was it more for what you said?"

"He made it clear to me that my... My attitude was for many. The fact that I was chasing a dangerous suspect without backup was apparently beyond his control when I do it every time."

"But you are not always at risk of dying, Steve. You almost died, he almost lost you. You know how Danny works after all this time. It's just that he cares about you and... And all the tension he accumulated until you woke up, he released it. He must have told you everything he had on his mind."

Steve didn't say anything. He had nothing to say. His sister was right; his behavior and words spoken for Danny to Tani had probably been much more powerful than he had imagined.

"When Danny almost died last year, do you remember what state you were in?"

"I was there, Mary. I was there. I saw him getting shot and bleed to death. I had to perform the surgery because the doctor couldn't do it."

"But how did you feel about that moment?"

"It was Hell", he admitted sighing. "I had the feeling that... That I had been locked up in Hell and the Devil was torturing me in the cruelest way. My heart was pounding every time the monitor screamed, and... I don't know, I've never experienced this before."

"I know what it is", Mary-Ann indicated to her brother with a slight smile. "You don't love him. You are in love with him."

Steve gently turned his head towards his sister, surprised by her words. He simply nodded. He didn't need words for that.

"You know what kept me going when I was in a coma?"

She took her time but after thirty seconds, she began to shake her head from left to right. She didn't know.

"It was him", he confessed in a whisper. "I thought about all the fights we had had. How much I missed his eyes. His smile, his way of just being who he is. And... I had that voice in my head, you know? Telling me to open my eyes. All I wanted was... To see him. And I knew from the moment I finally opened my eyes that it was reality. The first thing I could see was his eyes. And his smile. It was more than enough to reassure me."

Mary understood her older brother perfectly. If he was in love with Danny, nothing could be enough to give him courage and move mountains. Or to lose grips to reality when he lost that love.

"In a way, he reminds me of Honey."

"Your first love?"

"Yeah. Just as stubborn, saying things straight. When I look at Danny... I see Honey all the time."

"You really love him, don't you?"

Steve could not help but look into his sister's eyes and smile stupidly.

"More than life itself. I could give my life for him without having to hesitate for a second."

"And... What did you say to... Tani?"

"I asked him to tell Danny that I was sorry. And that I loved him. I... I was sorry; I didn't listen to him and I didn't wait for backup. My SEAL instinct took over at that point; when I get shot at, I fire back. Especially since the bullet caught me by surprise. It was the very first time the guy fired, and I didn't feel anything until he was dead. Who would have thought the bullet would go through the vest? No one, not even me."

"And the "I love you"?"

"This... This was because I thought I was living my last moments. And... And he had the right to know that I loved him. From the bottom of my heart. But I screwed up. By staying alive, I ruined everything..."

"Steve, you didn't ruin everything. Give Danny some time to think about all this. It's a hard blow for him too what you both have just experienced. You know that the more he cares about someone, the more he'll do anything for that person. For all we know, he was so afraid of losing you that he burst. Give it time."

"He will never love me the way I love him, Mary. Think about that. I have to keep this to myself."

"Why, because he was married to a woman and had two children with her? It doesn't mean anything, and you know that better than anyone else."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Steve. You have to trust me. If he loves you too, he will come back to you."

Mary smiled. With so much trust, Steve could only nod and smile back. The two siblings hugged each other. He would come back. This sentence was more than enough to cheer him up.

* * *

 **A/N: okay, I have to tell you this. When I start writing a story, I have its entirety in mind; the beginning, the storylines, the end. Only the title is missing to me and I have to develop the first chapter to find the appropriate one.**

 **With the review you leave, I improvise a lot though; I do it all the time for my other stories. But I wanted to explore something the show can't. What if Steve's feelings were not what we thought they were? What if he cares about Danny in a deeper way?**

 **And what if Danny doesn't share these feelings about Steve? Think about it until the next update ^^**


	10. What I want

Nice way to start a rainy Monday; time to update!

Before you could ask: Steve's flashbacks about Danny and their arguments (for most of them) was just to remind him what was important to him. It was their unique friendship. The 5-0 Task Force started with Steve and Danny and their curious way of loving-hating each other, Chin and Kono completed the group later. He had to remember that in order to pull through, just like when he was tortured by Wo Fat and he hallucinated about a life where his dad would still be alive and every character would be different. That's how he managed to stay alive and fight that day, and that's how he survived now.

There is also a new enigmatic character (Honey); Steve's first love! Yes, it wasn't Catherine (as you have guessed with season 9 with Greer). And YES, you will know about who he/she is later.

The previous chapter was there to give you Steve's feelings about the McDanno ship, and now it's time to have Danny's!

I can't tell you more, because it's time to read!

* * *

 **CHAPTER 10**

Mary-Ann stayed at her brother's bedside two hours after the promise that if Danny loved him back, he would come back to him. Somehow, she had managed to put him to sleep and put him under the blankets of his own bed. In this condition, she could see how much Steve was suffering, mentally and physically. His features were drawn, his forehead constantly wrinkled, as if he was fighting against the pain invading every cell of his body. His skin was a whiteness that she had never seen before; he was unrecognizable.

She had to talk to Danny. He had to know how much Steve cared about him and that his apology was more than sincere. He had to know that he loved him more than anything else and that if he loved him back, he had to be there for him, to support him in this difficult ordeal, even for him. He might have looked strong, but without his support, he was a mess and didn't want to live. Quite simply. Because he was committing a suicide right now. A kiss on her brother's forehead, a tender look, and she left for Danny's house. It wasn't the first time she went there, but it was so rare that she got lost on the way before she had to call headquarters to ask for the detective's address and activating the GPS to enter the coordinates. Once outside the door, about two hours after leaving the family home, she took a deep breath and knocked.

"Danny, this is Mary. Open up please."

Ten seconds later, the blond-hair man opened the door, surprised by this sudden visit.

"What are you doing here? Steve is sending you over here?"

"Uh... Hello to you too", she said, frowning. "And no, your team sent me here."

Just looking at the detective's face, she understood what Steve meant; his eyes were filled with anger. Danny hated him a lot.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Uh... Yes, come in. Sorry."

He stepped aside to get Mary inside and invited her to sit on the couch. Luckily, he didn't have his children; at this time of day, they were still at school and it was Rachel's weekend.

"So my team sent you here? Don't they have the courage to come and see me in person?"

"Actually, it's uh... This is more complicated than that. They called me because they received a phone call from Steve's doctor yesterday. He signed a release form to go home, explaining that he refused any treatment. And all that against medical advice."

"WHAT!"

The violence of Danny's scream made her startle as he stood up with his fists clenched, ready to hit any obstacle.

"Is he stupid or what?"

As he was walking toward the front door, Mary entered stood up in front of Danny to stop him.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Kick his ass, apparently he needs it."

"We have not finished. I'm not done yet."

This time, it was Danny's turn to frown.

"What he needs right now is calm and solitude. Your... Your argument shook him up a lot."

He did not answer but took the time to sit down again, intrigued. Steve, upset by his bloodshed?

"You talked to him", he guessed.

Slowly, she nodded, sighing deeply.

"I mostly tried to cheer him up and listened to him. Look, he told me why he said those words to... Tani, right?"

Danny nodded while Mary-Ann took her phone in hand.

"I need you to listen to something for me, okay? And I want you to listen to the end."

"Why, what is it?"

"Just... Promise me."

"Okay, okay, okay. I promise to listen to the end, are you happy?"

Mary smiled and turned on the tape recorder to review all the conversation she had recorded without her brother's knowledge. At first surprised by this discussion, his expression quickly changed. Danny was decomposing at first sight; he was so angry with Steve and it turned into misunderstanding, then into astonishment and finally into shame. He was so ashamed. He had thought about his own emotions without considering his best friend's; he never in his life would have believed that Steve loved him that much and this way. He had never shown such feelings before. Friendship, a very strong fraternal bond, yes. But love? When did he show him love?

Thinking about it, about this definition of love, he judged that everything was there: the fact of being there for each other, the great friendship that united them, the project that they had had together to open up a restaurant. Even their constant arguments. Over time, they no longer had to talk to each other, as if a telepathic link existed between them and allowed them to communicate without anyone hearing them. What could be related to a powerful friendship and brotherhood for him was proof of a true love for Steve? Mary stopped the recording, watching Danny for several minutes. He seemed shocked, disoriented.

"All this time, and... And he never told me anything?" he started, his voice shattered into tiny pieces.

"Danny, you know my brother better than anyone else. You know he's not the type of guy showing his feelings, even less explaining and sharing them. He had learned how to keep all this to himself, so that it wouldn't be used against him one day."

"But... I am his partner, his best friend. He could have told me that."

"And what would you have done? What would you have done if he had told him that he was in love with you? You would have rejected him? You would have accepted it? What?"

"I don't know", he admitted in a deep sigh. "I don't know. Maybe... Listen, I don't know anything about this, Mary. I didn't even know he was... Uh..."

"What? Gay? Technically, he isn't. He considers himself as a pansexual guy."

"A what?"

"Long story short, pansexuality considers that one can fall in love, sentimentally and sexually speaking, with anyone on Earth, no matter the gender, the sexuality, the origin, the religion or the age."

"Basically, he's bisexual, isn't it?"

"It goes deeper. Bisexuality only considers binary gender; boy or girl. Steve can fall in love with a boy, a girl, a transgender, whoever. But he is in love with you. And hearing these words coming out of your mouth is destroying him. He's slightly killing himself because he thinks he lost you forever."

Danny swallowed hard, using all his strength not to start crying. He had certainly been very unfair to Steve. Telling him everything he had on his conscience had probably not been the wisest idea he had had so far, but he had to tell him all that. He felt the need for it. It had even become vital.

"How I couldn't see anything while I've been around him on a daily basis for nine years", he whispered more for himself than for Mary-Ann.

"In France, it is said that love makes you blind", the young woman joked.

Danny let out a smile, which her interlocutor soon noticed.

"Thank you. For making me listen to this. I think I owe someone an apology. Well... I owe him more than an apology."

"Don't be too hard on him and yourself. You were both on edge about the shooting. It can happen to anyone to have to give in and get their nerves on the first person you find."

After five minutes, Danny decided to go visit Steve. He needed to clarify some points, and kick his ass to try a suicide by pain, just because he thought he deserved it. Bypassing all the security systems of the house, he followed Mary's instructions and went straight up to the upper floor and into his room. Steve was still under the blankets; a thick layer of sweat dripping from his forehead and his breathing was more than fast and saturated.

"Steve?"

He opened his eyes. His best friend was standing in front of him, looking more than worryingly at his face.

"D'nny? What are you doing here?"

"I... I'm here to take you back to the hospital", he explained, knowing that it was the best thing to do at the moment.

Steve was not coherent enough or strong physically and mentally for a more than serious conversation.

"No, I don't want the hospital. Leave me alone."

"I'm not going anywhere. I will take you to the hospital by the skin of your butt if necessary, but you go back to the hospital."

Steve didn't have time to protest, Danny had already taken off the covers and was already helping him to get up and drag him to his car. On the passenger side, of course. For once, he could drive his own car, he wasn't going to deprive himself. About forty-five minutes later, Dr. Kaheko allowed Danny to enter the hospital room in which Steve was staying.

As expected by the doctor, he had developed a high fever because of the sudden cessation of intensive treatments that he had to take the time to stabilize his condition. His heart was so stressed that episodes of severe arrhythmia occurred and even his new medication could not stop them completely. He was dehydrated, starved, his body weakened by fever and fatigue. The fact that his sternum was not healed did not help at all and the doctor had to opt for positive pressure oxygen therapy, at least for a day.

Danny was also told that Steve needed a lot of rest to get back to his feet and that the next few hours would be difficult for everyone but especially for him. The surgeon still couldn't believe that without treatment for nearly twenty hours, he had not developed clots large enough to kill him. It was almost a miracle.

Sitting next to his friend, waiting for him to wake up, he still couldn't understand how he could have missed the signs, which normally never escaped him, that Steve was in love with him. The more he thought about it, the more he tried to find evidence in his memory from the first day they met. From their first fight, Danny noticed as he walked through the scene again that Steve already had that look he had always known, the one who had the gift of exasperating him. The fact that he was one of the few people to whom he could open up without hiding almost anything, his association with him to open the restaurant when it was something he had a certain aversion to. So many things now seemed obvious since he knew what Steve had in mind all along.

But very quickly, his thoughts were blocked by piercing grey eyes; Steve was awake.

"Hey."

Steve then opened his mouth, as if to say something, but the special oxygen mask prevented him from doing so and Danny stopped him before he tried something.

"You don't need to talk right now. Just focus on your recovery, and then we can talk, okay?"

Weakly, the sailor nodded and went back to sleep. Danny watched over him all night without flinching or moving, his hand anchored in his own without wanting to let go of it, for fear that everything would escape him. That Steve would escape him again. The next morning, very early, the doctor came by again. His patient was much better and could now be hooked up to a simple nasal cannula to supply his lungs with extra oxygen, the powerful antibiotics he had given him were a great help fighting fever and infection and his condition had stabilized despite persistent arrhythmic episodes. According to the specialist, this could last a few more weeks depending on the intensity of Steve's effort.

"Thought you hated me", Steve admitted in a whisper.

Surprised, Danny raised his head; his best friend was awake and seemed strong enough to handle a long conversation. He smiled.

"I could never hate you", Danny explained. "Mary told me everything."

"What do you mean by 'everything'?"

"Why you told these words to Tani, what he felt when I got short during the quarantine, when you woke up from your coma. Everything."

"I see."

He was angry with Mary-Ann for sharing their conversation, but deep down he knew that she had only done it for his own good, out of love for the older brother he was.

"Do you really love me?"

Surprised by the sudden question, Steve mechanically turned his head towards Danny with exorbitant eyes. Where did that question come from?

"I mean, uh..."

"I don't think you need me to tell you."

"I need to hear it from you", he insisted, swallowing hard.

Steve sighed. But despite everything, he used the remote control to get up with the bed and sit on the edge in front of Danny. He took his hands gently and squeezed them into his hands as his partner raised his head.

"Danny, I... From the bottom of my heart, love you so much."

These words, they were similar to the ones he had pronounced when both friends had been trapped under the rubbles and Steve was about to use an explosive device that could have killed them in order to get them out. Danny's lips separated as an emotion he hadn't known for a long time overwhelmed him. His stomach knotted, a feeling of having swallowed an anthill seized him. He could feel that his heart was beating in symbiosis with Steve's just by paying attention to those incessant beeps in the background. He hadn't known this feeling since Rachel. He had known him with Melissa and Gabby, but never had he felt it so intensely.

With no visible answer from Danny, Steve thought that the friendship they had was more than enough for his happiness. He seemed shocked. Disappointed, he tried to withdraw his hands, but something was preventing him from doing so; his brother's hands. They were firmly attached to his, as if he didn't want to let go. He blocked his eyes in his partner's blue eyes, and he understood. He realized that Danny simply couldn't speak because the shock was so intense for him. But despite everything, he managed to get up, preferring to sit next to him. He frowned, trying to decipher his best friend's face. He said nothing, waiting for an answer from him.

And he received one. In a way he didn't expect at all, but he received it: Danny's icy lips came to stick to his, tenderly. At first surprised, Steve thought about what his sister had told him the day before; that if Danny loved him too, he would come back to him. And there he was, in front of him, kissing him. He quickly returned this fiery kiss to him and he preferred to close his eyes to savor the moment he wanted to engrave in his heart forever. That moment he never thought he would experience until now. He was happy. The happiest man.

* * *

 **A/N: I am sorry, I didn't tell you sooner that it was gonna be a McDanno love story because... I didn't plan for it to be! I improvised a lot and I don't know how it came to me!**

 **And yes, these flashbacks can now be seen as a two-side story; Steve likes very much this friendship he had built with Danno, but he also loves him!**

 **As they won't explore this relationship on the show, we _fanfiction writers_ have free pass about it! And THAT is so cool!**

 **Hope you enjoyed it because there is one more chapter (where you will know about Honey). I will update Wednesday; it's kind of busy here and I barely have time for me.**

 **Have a nice day, folks!**


	11. The first one

Hello hello, last chapter is here, as promised!

It takes place three weeks after the event of the previous chapter and I have to admit... I love this one! You will know whi was Honey and everything!

Hope you'll like it ^^

* * *

 **LAST CHAPTER**

 _Three weeks later..._

Danny woke up with the heat of a body next to him, a sensation he wasn't used to feel. Two weeks prior, Steve had been cleared by his doctor and was released from the hospital. And it took him that amount of time to finally asked the sailor if he would say yes to sleep in the bed together. McGarrett wondered what took him so long to make this step forward but after thinking about it, it was his fault. As Danny wasn't used to exclusively male relationships, he had agreed to give him all the time he needed. He would never have thought that he would take two weeks for that step though. But in the end, it was happy.

Danny felt good in the crook of Steve's right arm; safe, cherished. Loved. The heat of his body was invading him, his fragrance driving him crazy. He was much used to have that effect on women. Come to think of it, even Rachel had never capsized his heart and soul like the man who was sleeping deeply next to him. It was a magical and unreal moment; he never thought he would experience it one day in his lifetime.

Just thinking about Steve and he was contented. It made him feel so happy. Looking at his face or plunging his blue eyes into his own gave him chills of pleasure. He was a fulfilled man. He raised his head to look at the clock; nine thirty in the morning. He smiled. Usually, Steve would have already jogged, swam for miles, showered and made breakfast. The incident had troubled everything. After their long kiss, the sailor had finally decided to pay attention to the doctor's orders and followed them, taking time to heal from his wounds. He had even agreed to take additional recovery days to come back to the office at 100%. Of course, the lack of intensive exercise had made him gain a few pounds, but what was important for him was to take care of himself. He felt very lucky; the surgeon had clearly told him that an extra inch and the bullet would have caused irreversible damage, which would have led to his death. Having a blood type so rare that he could only receive a transfusion or an organ from people with the same blood type and rhesus was already complicated, so finding a heart within hours after such an incident? It would have been an impossible mission, even for him.

So he cherished each moment as a blessing, as if he was living his last moments. At least, he could spend his free time in the restaurant to refine the whole place before the opening. He thought that opening a restaurant, in addition to opening an Italian one in Chinatown, was the most stupid idea Danny had ever expressed, but he seemed involved now and was doing everything he could to make it work. Maybe that was the power of love? Having an interest in something that you thought was stupid just because the person you loved was curious about it?

Danny came to his senses quickly and felt a certain agitation at his side: Steve was waking up.

"Nap time is over, princess!" he whispered in the hollow of his ear.

Listening to these words and this voice, McGarrett smiled and turned his head to the right.

"Good morning to you too", he replied, stretching as much as he could.

Steve finally opened his eyes, the sun had entered the room and radiated its light into the walls, the light wind from the sea sweeping through the curtains and through the room. A sensation of incredible pleasure soon overloaded all the cells of his body. Really all of them.

"I didn't know I had that much effect on you..."

Suddenly, Steve opened his eyes fully, stunned. Quickly, he put his hands down between his legs, embarrassed by the situation.

"Oh God", he repeated several times.

Danny couldn't stop laughing stupidly. His partner's embarrassment seemed so authentic that it had become funny. So, as a punishment for mocking him, Steve sent his pillow to him on the face with all his might, but that didn't stop him from laughing.

"This is not funny, Daniel!"

"The Hell it is, Steven!" He said, struggling to put the pillow away. "You should have seen your face!"

They teased each other for five minutes before calming down, lying all the way down on the bed. Danny sighed.

"Is there something wrong, Danno?"

In fact, he had been wanting to ask him a question for almost three weeks now but he didn't want to offend his partner about it. He was afraid it would be a sensitive point.

"Talk to me. You know you can tell me everything."

Danny nodded and took a deep breath before he started.

"Who is Honey?"

Steve frowned and straightened up all of a sudden, turning his head towards the blond-hair man. Only one person could have given him that name.

"Did Mary tell you about it?"

"Not really. She just told me it was your first love, that's all. But ever since then, I've had this question in my head."

The soldier swallowed hard and sighed.

"All right."

He took quite some time to sit on the bed, asking Danny without a word to do the same. The latter felt the tension and sadness invade Steve, as if he was going to start crying but he was holding back.

"Honey was a NavySEAL, just like me. He was part of the promotion before mine. He was nicknamed this way because he loved honey. It was like a drug to him. When I became a SEAL, we were assigned to the same mission. It was my very first of many."

"So it was in the late 90s? The Balkanic area?" Danny asked.

Steve gave him a look that he could quickly interpret.

"Sorry. Classified?"

"All my missions are."

Danny knew this, but he knew his partner's expressions well enough to be able to decipher them. He could deduce that he was right: his first mission was in the Balkans. Thinking back to an old case, the fact that Steve knew Serbian gangs; the suspect they had arrested on a roof and who had a blue star tattooed on his hand? No need to say more to guess that he had had to deal with them back there.

"All this to say that when we met, we fell in love with each other. Being more of a lone wolf, Honey became my first true love. The Army, the Air Force and the Navy refusing to work with gay, transgender or lesbian people at the time, we kept it all to ourselves. Even Joe doesn't know and only Mary was aware until now."

Steve stopped and Danny could see shivers and tremors running all over the man's body sitting in front of him. The first sentence then came to mind again.

"Wait a second, did you say 'was'? What happened?"

"RPG", he confessed, tears coming to his eyes. "We were trying to get children to safety when a local militia attacked us. We tried to take cover but there were two of us and they were fifty, heavily armed. He asked me to follow the children while he was covering me. It was when I turned to leave that I heard the RPG."

Steve swallowed hard once again, reliving that moment of great violence. But at least, Danny was there by his side. He showed him that he was present for him, taking his hands to prove his support.

"Honey rushed over me and took all the force of the explosion. He died instantly. Since this was my first mission, everyone thought that... That it was the emotional shock of it that shook me up, when in fact I had just lost the man I loved."

The NavySEAL had decided to give his life to protect the man he loved. It was in itself the most beautiful message of love one could send to someone. Danny was shocked by this tragedy but he was also proud and grateful: without this act of pure love and bravery, he would never have been able to meet Steve and his whole life for nine years would have been quite different.

"That day, I swore that I would never fall in love with a man again. I wanted Honey to be the first and last man of my life."

Danny straightened up, uncertain. That's why Steve was repressing his own feelings; because of that promise. He probably didn't want to relive a story like the one he had experienced with Honey. Plutonic but also tragic.

"Until I met you", he confessed then.

Steve said nothing, the pure expression of surprise on Danny's face told him what he wanted to know. He smiled, looking down.

"When we fought in the garage the very first time, I had this strange feeling that Honey was back. Stubborn, cheeky, sensitive, impulsive, noisy. But who loved his work above all. That's why I accepted the Governor's offer and created the 5-0 Task Force."

Danny still didn't say anything. He could not believe that in nine years of friendship, he had almost never managed to get him to express his feelings and that now, he was totally letting go. He offered himself to him as if he now trusted him completely, enough to put him in confidence.

"Of course, I wanted to find the guy who killed my father, but that wasn't my top priority. After Freddie's death, the Navy didn't feel the same to me. This offer gave me the opportunity to draw a line on this past, to run away from it. You looked so much like Freddie and Honey that I wanted to know you better and understand you."

"Is that why you chose me as your partner?"

Slowly, Steve nodded.

"You were a good cop, and you still are a very good one, don't worry. And... I needed someone who could counter me, channel my behavior. A person totally opposed to my convictions and my way of proceeding, and who could kick my ass if I crossed the line. Something that Freddie and Honey didn't hesitate to do if necessary."

Faced with this revelation, Danny didn't know what to say. Steve had really fallen in love with him at first sight. Whereas he had taken nine long years? No wonder why Steve became depressed after his burst in the hospital: he had undoubtedly experienced it as a break-up, a betrayal on his part. As if he had lost the love of his life a second time. It broke his heart to think about it again.

"And uh... Catherine doesn't know either?"

"No one knows about this but you and Mary. But she was there for me when none of my family members were. She helped me to overcome the ordeal of losing... All this to say that she allowed me to forget how difficult my life was. She didn't ask me any questions. She was just there when I needed her and... With time, what we wanted to keep casual became serious. I've learned to love her, to the point of wanting to marry her."

No need to go any further, Danny knew that this love affair with this woman was relatively complicated, especially after hearing this confession. But above all, he knew the rest because he was the one who had been there to cheer him up with the whole the best friend relationship.

"But after all these relationships, I only chose one person. The one with who I can be myself without being judged, with who I can laugh about everything and argue about nothing. The one I can love freely without caring about the consequences. Someone who fills my heart with happiness when our gazes cross and can understand what I want to say without a word."

Danny looked up, his eyes wide open, immersed in Steve's tender gaze. He had a big smile and squeezed his hands back.

"And this someone is you, Danno", he finally admitted with tears ready to flow.

He himself was ready to cry in front of so much love from his partner. But instead, he threw himself on him and kissed him to show him that he too wanted this story to be the right one for him. The two lovers slipped back but Steve didn't stop them, on the contrary. He wanted this moment to last forever. He closed his eyes, thinking back to that idyll he had with his teammate. Eliott by his real name. He could not repeat that name to Danny, he already knew too much about a classified military operation, and knowing him he would have done his best to know who he was in every detail, which could compromise National Security but also send him to prison for high treason and for disclosing confidential information without authorization to a civilian.

But that wasn't the question; he was wondering what Eliott would have thought in his lifetime. Would he have accepted this love? Would he have wished him all the happiness in the world? He repeated this sentence that one day he had slipped into his ear: he had told him that he only wanted him to be happy. And today, he was more than happy with Danny. He felt unique, at peace, confident. He could see a bright future, the one Honey couldn't have had with him. A breeze rushed into the room, caressing the almost naked bodies of the two lovers. Eliott. It was his blessing, he was sure of it.

Breathless, Danny broke their kiss, with a smile on his face.

"While you're on your confidential mood and all, are you finally going to tell me about Operation Strawberry Field?"

Surprised by the sudden question, Steve couldn't help but laugh.

"You will never give up on this, will you?"

"Not a chance", he said very seriously.

Of course, Danny knew that the soldier had no right to talk about this mission. Just knowing the name of the Operation was an achievement in itself.

"Bite me", he said with a smile on his face.

"You wish."

One kiss replaced another, the two men fighting lovingly to find out who would have the upper hand over the other. But what they wanted was that carnal pleasure that united all couples from all over the world, no matter their compositions.

"You know, Steve, uh... I have no experience in... You know?"

"That makes two of us. We can explore this whole part together."

Faced with this statement, Danny backed away, frowning and doubtful.

"What, you never did it with Honey?" he asked.

"We didn't have time. He died before we..."

Steve swallowed hard, hoping that his partner would understand his silence.

"Say no more. I get it. The unknown is waiting for us."

Danny smiled at him, expressing all his understanding and support. McGarrett smiled back after nodding. A future strewn with unknown facets was standing in front of them, but they were ready to face these obstacles together. Together, they could move mountains, move heaven and earth just to stay close to each other. They were going to build this future together and nothing else mattered more than this. Except maybe Grace and Charlie, Danny's children.

From this darkness that Steve had found after the accident was born the light that Danny represented and their unspoken and impossible love. But no matter what, their story was beginning here and now.

* * *

 **A/N: So, this is it! I hope you liked this story all along as much as I enjoyed writing and improvising to give youmy best.**

 **See you all for the next story or then ext update of my other stories!**


	12. NEWS APDATE

Hello fellas!

I realized that the way the story went was not the one I liked, as I am not really a McDanno romance ship. I don't really know why I ended up in this kind of story; I was myself very surprised actually.

The reviews and the private messages I received after the end of this story made me think about something really important.

I will rewrite this story for a McDanno very strong friendship, BUT it will be different. I will keep the story with Steve taking a bullet and with a slight chance of survival (and surviving, of course, don't worry about this) and I will add numerous new details and change almost everything around this main storyline. This will, therefore, be a newly add story and I hope it'll fit your wishes even more (including mine).

I am actually writing the end of chapter 3 and I wish to start updating this new story (with the same name) this weekend, in a rhythm of one chapter every week (instead of one every day), because I had a lack of inspiration before Christmas and it takes time to write with as much detail as possible.

I hope you will like this new story and I can't wait to share it with you ^^

GygyFr


End file.
